Mission Mission

It certainly appears to be a possibility considering this account by eyewitness Bernard, who also snapped the above photo.  Here’s what he had to say about the situation:

I took this picture yesterday at 6pm on 25th and SouthVaness. Unfortunately my phone died just after I took this picture otherwise I would have called the police. This tractor was carrying away a motorized bike from mission then down s.vaness. It was being followed slowly by a sketchy grey older suv. There were three latino males in the van most were in their late thirtys to early forties. The tractor driver had on construction cloths and construction hat that almost made it look legit.

The only other possibility I can surmise is that someone’s non-functioning motorbike was being transported to a mechanic by a buddy who happened to have  some construction equipment at his disposal.  Of course, that’s a bit of a stretch too, but is it crazier than someone making off with a motorcycle in a Bobcat?

Wow, this hot couple would fit in just perfectly with those fab stripe troika ladies!  Now all I need is a clever way to incorporate four stripes into a pithy phrase.  Stripe quartet just doesn’t strike the right chord…any suggestions?

Also, now that we mention it, hey, Indian summer?  Yeah, you!  It’d be nice if you decided to show up soon!  I wanna wear shorts and a t-shirt at night!

Perhaps this is the entrance to some super-secret Mission book club!

You already knew that the housing situation in SF and the Mission in particular was so bad that people have resorted to paying for Facebook ads in order to find a place to live, but this utterly amazing Craigslist room vacancy post is sure to depress even the most optimistic apartment seeker:

I have a shitty room available that no other people in the house want, hence the ad on CL.
I figure I can charge you more so the existing roommates can all pay less. I’ve actually been here for 8 years, so I’ll be making money off your rent.
It’s about 8×6, has a window facing a brick wall, and has no closet. The closet is down the hall, down a flight of stairs, … ah hell it’s in the garage.
Also, the room is not really a room, it’s half of a double parlour and your door is a sliding one that doesn’t close all the way. You can hear your roommate on the other side think.
We’re having an open house, so if you really like talking about yourself and giving us your life story while other strangers are present, you’ll be in your element.
One of our roommates is out of town, we would like you to skype with him a few days from now when we’ve picked some people out. Then after that we will narrow it down again to a select few (10) and meet next week for round two. We don’t have a life so we welcome the chance to have people over that show interest in us and praise our wonderful abode and everything about us, whether it’s sincere or not. Hey, a couple of us guys are single, so this could be a chance for us to score some dates. I don’t think that’s creepy at all.
We’d like your facebook and linkedin info. We feel that we can tell what kind of person you are and what you’ll be like, just from looking at how many friends you have online. There’s never been a better way to get to know someone.
Send us an email or go buy a lottery ticket – chances of getting the room are roughly the same.

Obviously it’s not real (I hope), but having gone through the soul-crushing Mission housing search on Craigslist myself a while back, I can tell you with complete confidence that it is extremely close to the truth.

(Thanks Jason!)

My buddy Jim is visiting the Mission from NYC this week to record some drums on an album our pal is producing, and it only took one night for him to get personally acquainted with our unique denizens.  What follows is a paraphrased account of what went down early Wednesday morning:

After leaving your place we [meaning Jim and our other friend Morgan] were walking back to where we were staying on 15th and Mission, keeping an eye out for a liquor store that might still be open.  As we were approaching the 16th and Mission intersection, some guy just kind of appears and starts yelling really loudly at the top of his lungs, just saying basic crazy shit.  We tried to give him a wide berth, but he sort of approached us as we were passing.

In the blink of an eye, the guy reached out and seemed to sucker punch me on the shoulder as he yelled, “Get the fuck out of my way!”  It felt kind of weird and as I looked at my shoulder, I realized my shirt was torn and there was some blood.  That’s when I noticed that the guy was holding a huge switch-blade.  He then started swinging wildly at us, but we were able to dodge the blade and get some distance.  The crazy guy, still yelling at the top of his lungs, then went to some of the other people chilling by the BART stop and started swinging his knife at them.

These guys didn’t seem to appreciate that, and one of them started swinging his cane at the knife-wielder.  Another guy threw a trashcan at him, and pretty soon they had him on the ground and were kicking him.  We were afraid they might kill the lunatic, so Morgan called the police who arrived swiftly and approached with weapons drawn.  Luckily they were able to take control of the situation without shooting anyone, although one of the officer’s hands was slashed by the guy with the knife and was bleeding profusely.

Me?  I consider myself highly lucky to have gotten away with just a scratch, and will probably be extra cautious about keeping my distance from crazy yelling dudes in the future.  If that guy had been just a few inches taller, his initial hit would have been at my jugular instead of my shoulder.  But seriously, motherfuckers in SF are waaaaaaaaaaaaaay crazier than folks in NYC!

Wow, we’re glad you’re okay, Jim!  For future reference, that 16th and Mission corner is probably the last place you want to be at 2am.  Be careful out there everyone!

Whatever it takes to get up a new mural on Osage behind the Mission Cultural Center.

UPDATE:  Apparently this is a real sport.  Original photo has been removed at photographer’s request.

[Photo]

In case you haven’t heard, it totally pays to be a puppy.

Previously:

• Ewok Smuggling
• How to properly transport your cat on a bicycle

I mean, just look at these gems!  Joy Division, New Order, Erasure, Depeche Mode, and even some BOOTLEG PRINCE (written on the back of that cassette is DNA LOUNGE ’94–haven’t listened to that one yet but it is sure to be epic).  The only reason I picked up the Alison Moyet is because the album was named ALF, although I am discovering that it doesn’t seem to have anything to do with my favorite alien.

Isn’t sidewalk music the best?  What’s some of the best discarded stuff that you’ve ever found just lying around here?

Finish off your Thursday with a chill jam courtesy of local fave Social Studies.  It’s the first single off their new upcoming album, which you helped make happen, and you can listen to it over at Nylon.  There’s also an interview with singer/keyboardist Natalia where she takes you behind the scenes into the song’s inception:

I wrote “Terracur” while I was working on music in the hills of Ukiah. I was living in a cabin on a break from the city, and trying to write music in a void. I got the idea for the song in a rocking chair on my back porch…

Read on and listen to the song here!

Now isn’t that adorable?  And it takes a lot of effort on the part of the owner, too!  For all her furious pedaling, she was pretty much going at the exact speed that we were walking, which is why this photo is so in focus (unlike some of my other “masterpieces”).  Now, let’s see him a little bigger:

Awwwwwwwww!