Mission Mission

Have you ever wondered, while waiting in a 25-minute line for your salted caramel and balsamic strawberry cone, whether Studio 3579 sells men’s or women’s clothing?  Well, the answer is neither, since it appears that the work/shop is now being advertised on Craigslist.  Maybe you can convince your Pop$ to front some cash so you can open an edgy gallery at “the gateway to the best microcosm of Mission food in the area”  and “take advantage of the Bi-Rite ice cream line in and hungry masses crowding the sidewalks on their way to Bi-Rite Market, Delfina and Tartine.”  Act now before Forever 21 snatches it up.

Bonus Listing!!! — Got a killer quick eats idea?  Ready to become the next Pal’s Takeaway or Rhea’s Deli and battle for neighborhood sandwich supremacy?  Perhaps you have a really classy sign with which you want to tempt thieves?  Or do you just wish Banh M(a)i would quit messing around with this Twitter silliness and open a damn Vietnamese sandwich place in the Mission?  Well, your dream spot is available for only $20k and $400/month rent.  Sandwich entrepeneur, make me proud!

[photo by Eater . . . PDX???]

Previously: Live Above Zeitgeist!

Do people still even name their dogs that anymore? 

Regardless, S. Pigeon has the scoop.

A new culinary endeavor seems to be emerging just down the street between Valencia and Mission, right near the panaderia and that friendly cafe with the bagel special and the tasty OJ.  It offers free delivery, but of what?  Thai food?  Medical supplies?  Further investigation is definitely in order.  Mustering the myriad skills picked up from an upbringing by Columbo, I bravely venture forth and discover:

Super Mario Pizza Wii?

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And then we’ll be devoured like a bucket of KFC or a ham and cheese croissant.  Muni is insatiable these days, and even with unfair fare increases (see what I did there?) and service being cut all over the city, its new director will make $225,039!!!  And despite all that, it’s still a self-admitted sinking ship.

So, how does everyone feel about the proposed March Against Muni boycott?  It’s not a “march” in the classical sense but instead a rather clever pun which asks participants to “pledge not to buy a March Fast Pass and stop or reduce riding Muni for the month of March 2010.”  Some of their demands are reasonable (no more rude drivers), some are pure fantasy (no more delays–sure dudes, whatev), and some are completely contradictory (no more paper fast passes AND no more exploiting seniors–make up your minds!). 

Jeff over at Muni Diaries thinks that since Muni’s problems resulted primarily from Governator-imposed budget slashes, a boycott will only worsen Muni’s monetary outlook and ability to serve the city.  He makes a good point.

So what do you think?  Will this lead to cleaner, on-time buses?  Over-crowded bike lanes?  Or will it just push Muni past the event horizon into the swirling vortex of bankruptcy and deterioration?

. . . at the ELBOW ROOM in Sparks, Nevada.  Better hurry before the Marina gets wind of this.

[photo by chartno3]

An offer too good to be true?

We’ve got individual rooms for rent!—think college dorm-style, a long hallway down the middle with rooms on either side, shared bathrooms, shared toilets. Below, Zeitgeist is a vibrant bar with a sunny beer garden for SF summers. We’re looking for a few good additions to our tenant base who can appreciate the bustly setting below while also respecting the solitude of their fellow hotel mates above the bar. Two rooms are available this month, two more next, each approximately 10′ x 10′. Electrical, water, and free Internet access are all included. We require a $600 security deposit, a $50 key deposit, and first month’s rent at lease signing. Here’s another cool thing: drugs are absolutely not tolerated, but well-behaved pets are. We’re dog and cat friendly. Background checks and credit checks will be run on all applicants, if only because the harmony of our living space is important to us. Interested? Please come by the bar and fill out an application or, better yet, make an appointment by contacting out resident property manager at: timeghost11@gmail.com.

I love the part about how “drugs are absolutely not tolerated.”  I’ll remember that the next time a coked-out bartender yells at me for only ordering two bloody marys.  On the other hand, you’ll be in perfect position to observe what I call the “Zeitgeist Paradox,” which postulates that on nice and sunny SF days when it seems as though it would be perfect to hang out at Zeitgeist, in actuality you don’t want to go anywhere near Zeitgeist because it’s packed to hell in there.

Zeitgeist Paradox Null-Hypothesis

And of course, if the city has their way, you won’t have to worry about smoke wafting up from the courtyard anymore either!  Burger fumes are another story, but only Vegansaurus would have a problem with that.  I also want to put on record that I really really wish my email address was timeghost11.  Totally fucked that one up.

Oh, and are you wondering how I shot all these pictures in the Zeitgeist courtyard without getting tossed?

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You guys remember Food Not Bombs, right?  They were those folks who were always getting kicked out of People’s Park or arrested for feeding homeless people.  You know, domestic terrorism or some shit like that.

Well, now you can experience all that edgy activism yourself without having to listen to a Fifteen album because Mission Street Food is hosting Vegan Night for Food Not Bombs at the usual spot, Lung Shan Restaurant at 2234 Mission.  Everything is between $5-9.  Leave your cynicism at the door for an evening!  PS.  I think they are still taking donations . . .

Some Highlights:

cassava fritters and panisse cakes with guacamole – $8
roasted kale, king trumpet, fried nagaimo, braised cashews, shallot soubise – $9
black garlic stuffed tofu, beluga lentils, wild arugula, preserved lemon – $8.5

Oh, and for a little extra credit, be sure to check out the Cometbus art exhibit at 1-2-3-4 Go! Records in Oakland.  Nobody does art with a Xerox machine that was kicked down three flights of stairs better!

So, the Cold War ended, the Berlin Wall crumbled, and all this nostalgia-inducing kipple found its way to the Mission.  But what is it?  I want to feel sentimental about Gothaplast Wundpflaster (a band-aid perhaps?) and Erich’s Luxus Duschbad (dandruff shampoo for commies?).  Do we have any Eastern European readers who can shed some light on this? 

This stuff probably means so much more to that table of 4 German tourists who keep asking me to take pictures of them and their schnitzel.  I suppose this is pretty much the equivalent to Dolores Burritos in Germany (with Franziskaner subbing for Negra Modelo), like some sort of exchange program but with restaurants instead of students.  German burrito consumers probably wonder why they have to stare at a wall-size map of the Mission while they eat.

But wait; what’s this?  Who else sees that?  East Germans like Boney M. too?!?  Now we can be brothers!  What’s this soup called?  Soljanka?  Sure, I’ll have some more!  And look, here’s Daniel Bruhl moonlighting as a waiter!  Guten tag indeed.

So perhaps this is the only acceptable form of graffiti?  It’s hard  to categorize a mustachioed unicorn as legitimate, but if tagging up the Sketcher sign can incur such community vitriol, then I suppose this is what we end up with.

Stopping by to check out a punk rock party at someone’s house (nice work bands!  more DIY shows please!), I noticed that a whole apartment wall had been dedicated to just let taggers do whatever the hell they wanted.  Fantastic idea, but I could have done without the acrid aerosol odor permeating the whole place.  And all the Fubar.

Of course, Y2K Beavis made it all worthwhile.

Void has the scoop:

Thought you might enjoy. It wasn’t there yesterday. 22nd & Mission.

An impressive feat of acrobatics, courage, tenacity, and vision.