Yesterday it was revealed via Facebook that the Lexington Club is closing.
In a followup Q&A with 48 Hills, owner Lila Thirkield expands on her reasons for shutting down the iconic Mission bar. Here’s a doozy:
Another real issue is economic gender inequality. Why is there only one lesbian bar when there are so many gay male bars? Even if you take queerness out of it, women make less money than men and a two male household is going to have more capital potential to start a business than a two female household. How many bars or restaurants do you see being run by women? So few. And that’s just the supply side. Because women have less disposable income and consume less than men, the spending power isn’t the same when you are talking about having a bar for mostly women.
Read on for lots more.
I wonder where the neck and hands tats crowd will go to now?
In no way do I intend to offend anyone (which means I’m basically going to offend people, right?) but I would like to offer a different narrative than the ones I’ve been seeing online since the announcement of the Lex closing. Hopefully the tone of this is read positively and that the message isn’t about the Lex but more about the community.
Back when the Lex opened, San Francisco was a different city almost entirely. It was a place for the outcasts, queer, gay, whatever you want to label them and it was a safe place. It became a local haunt, got divey-er (is that a word?) as the years went on and more recently it’s become a place that has been failing for a few reasons.
Gentrification. If I hear this word one more time, I’m going to scream. Understandably, the neighborhood has changed. The city has changed. Times have changed and if businesses don’t evolve, they are doomed.
Yes, a lot of lesbians moved to Oakland. As a uhauling bunch, we have issue with staying put, not nesting, breaking up, trying to find roommates, and thus Oakland became a cheaper and more feasible option. However, just because seemingly ‘all’ the lesbians moved to Oakland, that doesn’t mean that ‘newer’ lesbians, perhaps slightly less ‘alternative’ but lesbian nonetheless have moved to the city – seeking out that same sense of safe place, community and acceptance as happened previously when the Lex first opened.
However, that newer group of lesbians finds the Lex completely unwelcoming. Based on my own personal experiences, trying no less than about 10x going there, trying to make it work, trying to like the place that seemed so ‘cool’ – but it was the same horrible experience every time.
What the Lex became is so far from the original purpose which is why I feel (not know) it’s now failing. The people who have been going there for years, working there, hanging out there made the place so uninhabitable for ‘new’ people or even non-locals visiting. All sitting around the bar, casing every person that walks in, chatting up their bartender friends who then didn’t serve anyone else. It seems liked you were walking into someone’s living room or a house party that you weren’t invited to. How could a business survive when it turns away the only people (besides the regular crew) that ever wanted to go and spend money there?
They needed to reinvent. Not with fancy drinks or using mason jars and endless succulent displays, but they needed to whip their staff into shape. Welcome the lesbians that haven’t found their way in the city. If they keep talking about the shrinking lesbian population, they must simply be talking about their own little clique of girls who have moved to Oakland because I still see plenty of lesbians aimlessly walking around the Castro in search of a hangout because they feel uncomfortable in the Lex.
People talk about the Lex now like you’d talk about an alcoholic who finally died. You don’t talk about the final years, you look at the Glory years. And yes, in its glory years it was vital to have a meeting place like this, where women/queers/trans all felt comfortable, but that comfort soon turned to clique and exes and everyone’s already slept with each other and it became a cesspool. Let’s also be frank, it’s dirty. It smells in there, it’s not accommodating for women to even use the disgusting restroom. Is that how you think you attract business and maintain customers?
I think it’s a good thing (hear me out) that the Lex is closing because it not only shows a sign of the times changing (NOT in a gentrification way) and now hopefully lesbians can come out of their dark hole, cliquey bullshit and actually socialize with one another in other bars/clubs, etc. There are so many lesbians in this city, not JUST the ones that all congregate around the pool table at the Lexington. We don’t all look alike. Some girls are femme, butch, etc etc etc, the labels go on for days – and now that the alcoholic has died, it’s time for this community to find new life in a new era. I have to also think that while rent was raised for this establishment, it could have easily ‘tried’ to do something a bit different to show the community it was versatile and not just stuck in its glory days, but I fear it won’t.
We deserve better than the Lex of current days. We deserve to treat each other with courtesy, respect and know that we’re all in this together. We’re all facing adversity, we’re all a minority and instead of creating tensions and clubhouses, we should be saying hi to each other and being nice or at least acknowledging each other with this gigantic chip on our shoulders.
I for one am happy to see what comes after the Lex closes and I hope that everyone can band together to support each other – even the clique crew that never welcomed us into that bar
Thank you for writing this. The Lexington has not been a good bar for a while.
This was excellent. Thank you.
Great reply. Thank you.
My thoughts exactly. I’ve lived in the city for 6 years, been to the Lex countless times and most of my memories are of the negative variety for the reasons you stated.
the pictures prove the point – you will see the same 10 people in every photo of the place. for example above is one of the bouncers and their girlfriend and someone else who works there. in the article about this comment posted today, there was a pic of the wife of the manager. not only do you have to know the people that work there, but then also be in their crowd to feel like you’re welcome.
TOTALLY AGREE. I have never felt comfortable at The Lex.
Everything you said to infinity.
>Why is there only one lesbian bar when there are so many gay male bars?
If there was a market for it, you’d still be in business. Or maybe there is, and you just mismanaged it enough to cause it to default.
>Even if you take queerness out of it, women make less money than men and a two male household is going to have more capital potential to start a business than a two female household
The gender wage gap has been disproven time and time and time again.
http://online.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052702303532704579483752909957472
http://time.com/3222543/5-feminist-myths-that-will-not-die/
http://www.consad.com/content/reports/Gender%20Wage%20Gap%20Final%20Report.pdf
Less QQ, more pew pew.
You can’t “disprove” something by adding so many qualifiers that you’re talking about something else entirely. But hey, when you get your news from far-right Murdoch owned properties, I guess that’s an easy mistake to make.
Hey don’t let the facts get in your way — its much easier to just dismiss the source, isn’t it?
I agree it is the money that ultimately makes things like this happen and yes women get paid 23% less than men in the corporate world, but I would like to address a common issue that helps with the lack of business in my opinion. I start with a question about your comments here, being an established business already would this apply to the owners since they are their own bosses? It might apply to the female patrons who are getting paid less in the jobs that they are working, so they would be drinking on a budget more so than a male patron. So, yes, I see that affecting business. My main concern is I have been told multiple times by the “loyal” patrons who smoke outside “hey, last call was 30 minutes ago” or “oh great, here come these guys”. A much uninvited feeling when entering or TRYING to enter. Now, when I’m inside the bartenders have always/mostly been great. I don’t think they have never rubbed me wrong. Trust me, I understand the bar being a safe haven for the queer and gay community and I have been there with my queer and gay friends who state they agree with me on this, but I think a lot of your community should try to understand that not everyone is out to get you and you have allies in the straight male community. Yes, a hand full of tech/big money duchery has moved in and I know a lot of your community is still being discriminated against/not treated right. But being judged and being told I’m not welcome before you even know that I support you for who you are, makes me not like that individual, which pushes me to generalize the group. Of course, that is not the case and understand that one apple doesn’t ruin the whole batch, but that mentality is discriminating against friends of yours with the same poison that has been displayed to you all. Once that ends and we can recognize that not everyone is against you, we can all work together to keep places like this open and build a stronger community to fight against this. I love you all. NOW, if you just want a woman’s only private club, then let’s keep fighting for equal pay for woman and keep lifting women up in power like Hilary Clinton and Wendy Davis and the other greats out there and I’ll be okay with not going into that kind of establishment!
There are more gay bars than lesbian bars because queer men are more marginalized than queer women. It’s thankfully better now than it was on the past, but gay men are much more likely to be harassed and brutalized for doing things like kissing their date or trying to strike up a conversation with another man in a straight bar. There are also more gay dudes than gay girls in San Francisco.
The Lex has had an exclusionary vibe for a while, which means that when their regular customers move on, it’s not super welcoming for newcomers that might have taken their place.
Losing a queer-friendly bar is still a bummer, the alternative is to turn a queer bar into a very inclusionary place, like El Rio and The Phone Booth, which you can’t whole-hearted call queer bars anymore, but business is booming.
Women don’t drink as much as men.
The Lex has always been notorious for being as snotty as the fucking Olympic Club ffs. No tears here.
As a straight dude (not sure if that matters) who used to live upstairs from the Lex, I enjoyed popping in every once in a while to whet my whistle on the cheap. I get that this place might’ve been cliquey for the lesbian crowd, but as far as places with four walls, a ceiling and cheap booze are concerned, the Lex wasn’t too shabby. It’s always a bummer to see a neighborhood hole in the wall go the way of the buffalo, regardless of the sexual politics involved.
I’m a straight person, with many queer friends of all types. Personally I prefer bars that are simply friendly to people. I don’t like being excluded because I’m not a queer woman, or queer man.
So I just go to places where there are no barriers for anyone.
Cool story; not relevant whatsoever.
dumb comment; shows you totally missed the point.
trick comment; there was no point!
“Because women have less disposable income and consume less than men”
“and consume less than men”
“consume less”
are you kidding me??? have you seen how jacked up the prices are for “lady” products? gender specific marketing is a scam, and women are on the losing side of it more often than not. maybe we (as in a collective society of women) buy less, but we sure as hell are paying more for practically the same shit.