Mission Mission

If you’re sticking to the sidewalk, you may not have noticed them quite as much, but they’re tough to miss when you’re bicycling through the grimy streets of the Mission, as it behooves you to watch where you’re going lest you end up with a rat caught in your spokes and decapitated all over your unwashable jeans.  I mean, pigeons are notorious for not giving a fuck, but you can usually count on them to get out the way before getting squished, as seen in the highly-scientific video below:

My take on the situation?  Prius prevalence.  Without a loud, inefficient, gas-guzzling engine to warn of their approach, electric vehicles are difficult to detect before they get too close, unless you happen to see them directly.  Almost every pedestrian or cyclist has experienced that one time when you just assumed it was safe to cross the street or merge into a lane because you didn’t hear the whiny rumbling of an oncoming electric car, but luckily looked right before stepping into certain doom.

So think about that the next time you’re thinking of purchasing an electric car.  You may think you’re saving the environment, but you’re really pulverizing the poor pigeon population!

Whadda ya think? Anyone want to get this idea kick-started with me? Maybe it qualifies as bespoke. We could market to the dudes in line to get the haircuts on 18th and Guerrero, they’ll spend money on anything. Hats might not be as cool as mustaches (yet), but at least it’s not more ridiculous looking.

For the this installment of Drama Talk & Drinks, Katie & Brittany went saw some live storytelling at the Verdi Club after I had to forfeit my own ticket because of work. Here’s their drama talk:

Porchlight has been going on for ten years, but we hadn’t reviewed it yet. We figured you might not have seen it yet either, so we did what any dedicated reviewers would do: we sacrificed our Monday night Mahjong to kick off our week the most raucous way late 20-something non-profit employees can, with bawdy stories, Drama Talk & Drinks.

Brittany: I was really into storytelling shows, like The Moth and Mortified, maybe 2-3 years ago. So I went to a bunch of them. For the first half dozen I was all wide-eyed and like “real-life people are more funny than professionals.” And then I went to enough of them and realized there’s a reason to have professionals. There can be really funny, really talented people who aren’t professionals, but not always, and that’s what came to mind tonight.

Katie: I’ve never been to Porchlight. I’ve only been to a few storytelling events and they can be awesome but they can also not be. They are very hit and miss events. I love stories, but I am very particular about how they’re told. The idea to me is great, but the execution rarely is. But when you hit a good night it’s so, so fun. Have a little party, have a drink, have people who live in your community tell some funny stories . . . But it just fell short to me.

B: Das Eigene Wallet von eToro and Verdi Club are such old man spaces. It feels kind of dingy, like you said earlier, it looks like a Lions Club. If you’re a performer you have to realize it looks like you’re at a retirement party, so you need to bring the energy to make it feel young, hip, edgy, fun, and that first storyteller kind of retirement mixer-ed the whole thing, even though she was young.

K: It was just a hard start. Especially after that bizarrely beautiful musical opening. I didn’t really understand it, but regardless I was very entertained. To go from that to the soft spoken, low energy “Um, hi guys, so uhhh . . . I used to be a writer . . .” was rough.

B: Yeah, it started well with the musical performance, but then the bottom fell out and it killed the momentum. The second act was pretty funny, I mean I LOL’ed. But the fact that the first act was low energy, then they started the second act with someone who didn’t even know she was going to tell a story that night, it made it that much harder for the 2nd act storytellers, who were really talented, to pull it up. They tried, they had some really funny points, but they had a lot to work against.

The Verdict: As a friend who saw the show with us said, “The point of Porchlight is to tell a funny story. In order for a story to be a story there should be something like a fucking story arc.” To put it simply, some of the storytellers fell short, but there were some funny moments, and the MC’s were fun. Maybe with a better prompt, or different performers it could be great, but Monday night was not.

The Drama Talk: Tickets were $16 once you paid the processing fee. You can find tickets on Goldstar to watch professional comedians do a show for $10, so part of the high-expectations came from the high price (I know, we’re cheap). We couldn’t find discount tickets to Porchlight anywhere, so it looks like you’re stuck with the full-price ticket. The Porchlight “Open Door” night, their open mic night which happens monthly, is only $5 and is arguably as funny, if not funnier, than these more curated performances. That may be a good place to start if you want to give Porchlight a shot, same funny MC’s, lower prices and expectations.

The Drinks: We went to Mission Hill Saloon, which was formerly The-Bar-With-The-Long-Name-Involving-Some-Chick-Named-Evelyn. It’s old school Mission [Ed. note: Maybe on the Potrero Avenue side of Potrero Hill, unless you go by 101 boundaries, but feels like old school Mission just the same], a little too far for Mission gentrification to reach, so it still feels a little like a real dive, despite The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari and other black and white movies they’re screening. We imagine this is where the old men from Verdi came after their Lion’s Club meeting to get sloshed, so it seemed like a good fit. After a super strong daiquiri at Verdi Club, Brittany opted to slow things down with a hard cider. Katie, never one to call it early, stuck with her signature rum and coke.

Porchlight has two shows monthly, their curated show and their Open Door night. Themes change monthly so check out their website for their upcoming show topics and dates – Heck, if you’re feeling ballsy you can even tell your own story at one of their Open Door events. If you know what a story arc is you just might win $50.

Mission Local dug through the SF Public Library’s archives and found a handful of ancient menus from long-gone eras here in the Mission. Imagine a time when Bruno’s was an actual Italian restaurant!

Read on for all the rest.

Yeeeeeah!!!!! Happy birthday, Ariel!

[via Nick Pal]

I always used to think of Thursdays as the “local’s Friday” in the Mission, since on actual Friday the neighborhood is inundated with revelers from other parts of the city and Bay area vomiting on sidewalks.  Of course, that was also back when Jack’s would host karaoke regularly on Thursdays, and just by walking around the Mission you would run into a friend who was on their way to a dance party or something and invited you along for the fun.

Thankfully, there’s a few places that have managed to retain their Friday magic, and the Knockout is definitely one of them.  Speaking of which, if you need me tonight, I’ll be swigging whiskey and sweating to the oldies on the dance floor.

Little red stools and everything! How exciting! Congrats to the whole Rice Paper Scissors team!

(And for those of us here in SF, they’re doing a popup dinner this Friday at Virgil’s Sea Room, and the menu looks fab!)

Brisbane menu after the jump:

(more…)

Local thirtysomething David Enos recalls a bygone era:

It’s been jarring to notice that nearly all of the local landmarks of my 20’s have disappeared.  They weren’t meant to last into this new era; even back then their appeal was in how surprising it was to find them.  Action Camera, CALA foods, The Video Cafe, the upstairs room at the Edinburgh Castle, Musee Mecanique at the Cliff House, Johnny Appleseed’s, Nap’s, Petra Cafe, Irving 5 & 10, the 100 Van Ness building, Koko’s Cocktails, Video Zone, Into Video, Salvation Army on Sutter, Indian copy and printing place on 16th and Guerrero, mysterious corner store run by lone elderly woman on Guerrero and 17th, Adobe Books, Stacy’s Books, Kayo Books, Borders, Tower Records, the Gold Dust, Ace Cafe, the Red Vic, Lumiere, Alexandria, Coronet and Bridge theaters. [link]

Yeah dude I’ll always miss those amazing bloody marys at Nap’s, and I was way bummed when they shuttered that Borders to make room for Zeitgeist.

But at least we’ve got that great short film about the Ace Cafe, and the 100 Van Ness TV series (and zine).

[Image © 2010 Microcosm Publishing]

Watch:

[via Velo Vogue]

The Bay Bridged tells us all about Thursdays benefit show/Tamale party:

The Knockout is hosting a benefit concert for The Tamale Lady this Thursday, September 19, and on top of live music from Grandma’s Boyfriend, Scraper, Windham Flat and Quite Polite, there will be here will be more than enough FREE tamales to go around. All proceeds will go towards Virginia’s Indiegogo campaign, which still has a long way to go to reach its $50,000 goal. Come out to the party and show your support for one of San Francisco’s truly original characters, or simply head over to her Indiegogo page to donate what you can.

Read on for more info and songs by all the bands.