Just look at this band. This is the Crystal Ark. Not only do they look like this, but also at least two of the people in this picture were also in our dearly departed LCD Soundsystem. Omg, right? You will want to attend this show (which takes place this Friday night).
To win tickets, tell us your best crystal-related or horse-meat-related story in the comments section below. A winner will be chosen based on merit and awarded a pair of tickets. Contest ends at noon on Wednesday.
To buy tickets, see here.
Thanks to local crew Honey Soundsystem for making this contest possible.
. To win tickets, tell […]</p>
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When I was in high school, I worked at a Panera Bread and ate hella free pastries. There was a gas station across the way in which I would almost always get a Red Bull before work. The man that worked the night shift really took a liking to me and would give me free drinks and snacks. Eventually, he started giving me other gifts (mostly Indian jewelry and Sade albums) and claimed he wanted to make me his wife and promised to take me on vacations, buy me anything I wanted, etc. Naturally, this creeped me out, but I enjoyed receiving free stuff so I played along.
One night, he told me to come in after my shift because he had a gift. I thought it was more jewelry, so I came back with my coworker to pick it up. He handed me a plastic bag with a folded up paper towel inside, told me to open it at home, and enjoy it. My coworker and I went to my car and unfolded the paper towel. Inside was a gram of crystal meth.
I was 16 or 17 at the time, he was 40-something. This man should probably be in jail, but I never went back after that, and ended up giving the bag to a friend.
TL;DR: Gas station man gave me a bag of crystal meth.
I think its perfect if a straight chick wins tkts to the homo horse meat disco. As meth has killed thousands of gay men only a clueless person would think this is a funny contest. Happy Pride!
I’m not advocating it’s use, simply telling my “best” ‘crystal’ story. Don’t take everything so seriously, and Happy Pride to you too!
Hey Pridetastic — how about instead ragging on a hilarious interpretation on the contest you stop assuming all girls are straight.
From a member of Honey Soundsystem – Lauren if you don’t win this one, I will put you on my list just for the indecency of that comment and your wiley sense of humor.
Pride is about acceptance not cheap shots – I am proud to dance with girls, boys and everything in between all weekend.
A couple of years ago, I moved to Paris for a few months to do some art history research. Lucky me, I have some family in Paris (related to me through an amicable divorce and remarriage). When I got there, they set me up in an apartment with the son of a family friend – his dad had been a student organizer in Paris in the 60s with my aunt. He was mildly crazy and constantly insulted my knowledge of fine food (bitch, I’m from San Francisco. Don’t mess). To welcome me to Paris, my cousin threw a dinner party for us and a few other friends, and I brought along a vegan friend from SF who was studying at Oxford and helping me move in. My cousin decided to do a traditional American dinner of hamburgers and fries. The dinner was lovely, everything was homemade – my vegan friend just ate the fries. At the end of the meal, as we all started moving to the living room to drink and smoke some more, my cousin asked me how I had liked the burgers – whether they tasted better than hamburgers in America. I said that yes, they were really good. She then grinned and told me she had used a special meat for the occasion – cheval. My cousin fed me horse meat in a hamburger. Vegan friend was appalled. I was horrified…at how good that burger was.
Instead of fake stories about horse-meat published suspiciously at 4:20, here is a real story about crystal.
When I was 18, I was walking down a street in Berkeley and this guy came running out of a store front yelling “Jonathan!” at me. When I told him I wasn’t Jonathan he insisted that I was and he had met me at “that club” a few weeks back. Apparently, it was unbelievable how much I looked like Jonathan. I was even wearing the same color t shirt Jonathan wore at “that club”. He offered me cigarettes [RED FLAG #1] & I accepted. He followed me all the way back to my apartment, both of us chain smoking and talking about things we both loved like dancing, smoking cigarettes, getting high, South America. When we got back to my place he suggested we hang out in a nearby subterranean stairwell [RED FLAG #2]. After talking a bit about the weather, he proceeded to show me how to smoke meth out of a glass pipe and asked me if he could suck my dick. When I said no, he figured that meant I wanted to suck his instead [RED FLAG #3]. I told him I was over it, and went inside locking the door behind me. I told my drug-addled sex-crazed roommate whom I hated dearly that there was a guy outside that he might be interested in.
Low in fat, high in protein, and perfect for a college student’s budget. Wikipedia that shit: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horse_meat#section_7.
anyone win this?
When i was young, i knew the great horse meat. It was tender and juicy, cut from the best part of the horse, the area right before the horse’s butt. We chose him from the herd, and while his friends cried their weird horse cries, we feasted– right there on the field.
My mother and I have not since had the opportunity to enjoy such perfect horse meat. We are ready again for this opportunity.
Crystal is so tragic, trashy. I’ve a couple friends who I would never describe as such but they have tried it and it wasn’t one of their brighter moments but they told me their story and they both involved police…I hate that it’s made in someones bathtub in Berkeley and that it’s explained as a dirty feeling and people always look sweaty and crazy. Also it seems there are residual effects for years where people are anxious or depressed or strange.
I guess that could be the same for Ecstasy but anyway
-Happy Pride y’all.
Pass.
HEY WHO WON???
FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE CONTEST! NO ONE WON! WHAT A RUSE!!!!!! AH MAN THIS BLOG IS SUPER LAME
What the fuck are you guys talking about? Someone won and they were notified. If you weren’t notified, you didn’t win. Thanks for playing!
uh huh…. sure….