Fayes Video posted a fun rant last night called “I HATE THE HOLIDAYS.” Here goes:
First off the views of this post do not represent that of Fayes or other employees of Fayes.
Secondly, I had a fine childhood, thanky very much, don’t project your dysfunctional family christmas mornings when your sister ripped off the head of your cabbage patch kid in retaliation after you “accidentally” stepped on her life size replica of, ___. Meanwhile your mom’s getting high in the backyard because it’s the only way she can talk to her in-laws when they call any minute, any minute…any minute, she stayed up all night wrapping the presents sipping whatever she stole from the rest of the holiday office party’s booze. It’s not my fault your dad’s obsessively putting away the christmas lights, because he too hates christmas and told mom “those lights are coming down christmas morning.” If there’s a contest to see who can leave them up the longest in the neighborhood, he’s going to win in taking them down first, and hopefully the god-damn Carvers across the street will follow suit and remove those god-damn battery powered waving santa clauses off their lawn, despite how many years he’s “accidentally” run them over with car.
