Our buddy Theo recently a started a new project wherein he’s going to post a hand-drawn, custom-lettered swear word every day for a year or something. It’s called Beautiful Swear Words.
My first question was, “Where are the t-shirts?” Theo hasn’t quite figured that out yet, but he’s gonna, and I’ll be sure to post again when he does.
My second question was, “Need help coming up with more swears?” Theo says he’s always on the hunt, so by all means, shout out all your favorite swears in the comments sections below. I’ll go first.
Also, Theo’s only 17, so please nobody tell his mom about this project.
I’d like to see a “Dicknose.”
I always loved hearing my Dad/Original Hipster? swear out “Dirtbag!” whenever we drove somewhere and he got pissed at other motorists. Another random swear I heard recently that may at least in a visual sense challenge “dicknose” would be “shitnozzle”!!
SHIT TONS
Bag o’ dicks!
I also like this one, and also the “bowl of dicks” variant. Or a pile of dicks, bucket of dicks, or even satchel of dicks. But I try not to use them, because like all “eat a dick”-style curses, they’re more heteronormative than I’d like.
Would “man purse full of dicks” be less heteronormative?
A fair question. Maybe “tote bag full of judith butler books and also dicks”?
You know, you actually can eat a bag of dicks — might take a while, though.
“Hell’s Bells!” ™ my mom.
buttmunch
CUNT BUFFER. that is all.
Shitty McDickshits Fart the Turd
(Yup, we actually say this one)
But just try to say it three times fast.
damn this kid is kinda talented! i love the “bullshit” one.
SHIT SHOW!
Cool project! He should join forces with Eric Bakke’s Hurtful Words, where people can stake ownership over swears. He has some gems. http://erikbakke.com/hurtfulwords
Oh, how about “Cum Dumpster”? You could probably sell a lot of “Cum Dumpster” t-shirts.
A+
SHITBIRD
harkening back to my childhood watching Clerks: “Cocksmoker”
“dodger-dater” is the worst thing i can think of
I’m a big fan of the term ‘Thundercunt’
Ass Cookie.
Titty fuck
http://fuckingbullsh.it/
Asshat is a favorite of mine
SHITTER
Republican!
Shit-apple.
Fucknut
Dildo
Hosebag
Fartknocker
Assbandit
Needledick
Numbnuts
But there’s a difference between swears you yell at people and swears you swear at yourself when you do something dumb, like cut your finger or stub your toe. For those special moments, I usually stick with the tried-and-true classics, like shit, fuck and son of a bitch. If I just do something lame, like misplace a needed tool, I’ll go all cute: fuckity-fuckity-fuck!
My favorite cussing on Deadwood was when someone got called a “degenerate tit-licker” — I’d love to know what time in the early morning the writers came up with that gem.
Buttfungus = star of grade 5
I think titshark is kind of funny.
Ass muffin.
I always liked “Christfuck,” but perhaps that is too religiously charged?
assclown
Cock Juggling ThunderCunt
suck my titties!
Assbadger
Fuckstick
Pussy wagon
Nut sack
Bag o dicks
Shit stain
Assfuck
Shithole
Cunt rag
Cunt bag
Slut
Whoreface
Vag
the old jail house call:”YOUR A PUNK..YOUR A SISSY..YOUR A PUNK ASS SISSY!!!!!!!!
in italian:STOONARDAVASE(stupid cunt)