Mission Mission

Forget owning a castle, if you have the millions ($22 million, naturally), why not buy an island? This island, to be exact:

And here’s some context:

On the real estate site Zillow, Red Rock Island inexplicably shows up  on the intersection of Van Ness and Pacific Ave., instead of it’s real location just south of the Richmond/San Rafael bridge:

The following comes directly from the listing:

Red Rock Island is the only privately held island in San Francisco Bay and is offered at $22M for the mineral rights and bragging rights.

Woah, mineral rights and bragging rights?

Well, the bragging rights go without saying. Imagine using the line, “Your place or my island?” Instant deal-closer. You’ll be loading up your private helicopter with babes or hot dudes (or both) in no time.

But what’s with those “mineral rights”? Just what kind of “red rocks” are we talking about here? Bismuth? Manganese? I’m not sure what the market is for paint pigment these days, but I can’t imagine it would cover your costs of mining. Don’t forget you’d also have to invest in an industrial-strength rock tumbler to get those other rocks show-ready.

That’s not all the island has to offer, though. According to sea kayaker and explorer Storm Steiger:

Russian and Aluet fur hunters camped on the island while pursuing the huge population of sea otters found in San Francisco Bay in the early 1800s.

Be still my otter-loving heart. That was the 1800s, though. Those otters have skipped town by now.

It was also known as a great place to gather firewood.

Bummer. We all love making fires, but most San Francisco fireplaces have been filled in.

But wait, what’s this?

Did pirates bury their gold on Red Rock? On old charts the island was called Treasure Rock and Golden Rock because of such tales.

Now we’re getting somewhere. What’s more appealing than pirate gold? With all that alleged treasure you might actually break even on the $90,000 monthly payment.

There’s all kinds of interesting information on Storm Steiger’s site, including the story of one entrepreneur who hoped to build a 20-story hotel on the island only to be shot down by the city of Richmond. There’s also a ton of info on this homestead site. Be sure to do your research before buying.

Don’t fall for their elaborate trap:

I for one am gonna write my Supervisor.

Previously:

Human Trafficking Ring Exposed in Dolores Park!

Our buddy Jen Gann wants him to blurb her new book, Back Tuck:

Buy the book here. And do visit the Tim Allen Blurb This Book Facebook Group, if at the very least just for the badass Tim Allen video I posted a little while ago.

Artist Iris Alden wrote in to share a story:

I’m a local artist/barback/sometimes I work at Adobe Book Shop. I’m guessing, what with your throughly thorough knowledge of the Mission, that you guys know about Swan (a.k.a The Birdman, a.k.a John Ratliff), the white bearded character almost seen at Adobe, sometimes sitting outside smoking, sometimes inside with or without a pigeon companion. Anyway, I made this comic after having a conversation with him one night, and I thought you guys might like to see it. Voila!

Voila:

Can’t get no results from the humans is right!

Previously:

The Pigeon Whisperer

Thanks, Iris!

I hung out a bit at Chris Daly’s new bar, Buck Tavern, on Market Street the other night. Anyway, enough about that. The TV was on so I got a little taste of what I left behind when I kissed cable news goodbye. Instead of maybe tracking the state of Egypt, a country that is literally on fire in places, they focused on some issue with Charlie Sheen and prostitutes, which actually seems like the opposite of “news”. Not because it’s not interesting, but because it’s neither new nor unexpected. In any case, I wondered what kind of message they were trying to send me by making up to 6 references to fire at one time. “BURNING”, “FIRE”, “BURNING”, “FIRED”, “BURNING” and actual footage of burning fire in the background.

Do they just use fire as a motif to make whatever they’re talking about seem interesting and urgent? Are they trying to suggest that he must be living with some intense Sexually Transmitted Infections? Or is the real story that Charlie Sheen is some kind of raging pyromaniac? Weird.

If all those episodes of Auction Hunters and Pawn Stars you watched this afternoon got you all amped up to bid on some cool stuff while listening to some rock ‘n’ roll, tonight’s event at ATA might really hit the spot:

Artists’ Television Access proudly invites the Bay Area community to celebrate 26 years of cutting edge, alternative and experimental art at this year’s fundraiser. The night features a live and silent art auction of work from almost 50 established and emerging artists, with live musical performances by Grass Widow and Puce Moment, and visual presentation by Craig Baldwin, Dayv Jones and much more.

Read on for complete details. And it starts in like 10 minutes, so you better get off the couch and get ready to go.

[Photo of the badass playlist that will presumably be played at some  point during the event by Talent Is An Asset] [Parting Gifts rules!]

Lost Weekend Video continues their assault on poor, defenseless little old Netflix. Who will come out the winner? All I know is that Netflix never offered a “Klaus Kinski tries to chop off Werner Herzog’s head with a machete” T-shirt, and that’s not helping them.

[via Tenderloin Geographic Society]

Previously:

Internet Killed the Video Store

Let’s start with the rerouting of Mission Creek . . .

Thanks to all the community support, Noisebridge hackerspace is here to stay for a while.

But what exactly is a “hackerspace”, you ask? Aren’t hackers just a bunch of Australian terrorists that are trying to destroy America? Don’t worry, these hackers are the gentle kind. They just like making stuff, and would much rather show you how to correctly solder a circuit than steal your facebook password.

KQED recently took a look inside the Mission’s own Noisebridge, which happens to be one of the pioneering facilities of it’s kind in the United States. Check out their video for a tour, interview with the co-founder, and a bit of the history of hackerspaces.

Previously:

Noisebridge in Trouble

Fucking Science, How Does it Work?

Right now I’m trying really hard to think of something better than local songwriter Wolf Larsen’s latest music video, which features a bunch of howling kids from Oakland’s ACORN Woodland Elementary School, but… no dice.

The song is called “Wild Things” and as far as I can tell, it has nothing to do with that lame movie starring Neve Campbell and Denise Richards.

Link for you folks on RSS.

[thanks Megan Keely!]