Mission Mission

From the comments section of our recent post about SFPD’s citizen satisfaction survey:

I actually had to fill one of these out after experiencing a nice little taste of a Shotwell and 15th mugging that busted my ankle and foot. The officers on the case were actually totally amazing–spent all night with me at SF General and came to my work several times with info on the case. And they made an arrest about two weeks later. And they were both tall and gorgeous  Have to say–pretty awesome.

Well done, SFPD!

[Photo by Troy Holden]

So, this’ll be pretty different.

First of all, JokeSlam takes place at Cafe Cocomo, which is a salsa club way over in a secluded corner of the Dogpatch, and how often do you find yourself at a place like that on a Friday night?

Second of all, look at this poster art. How often do you find yourself at a thing with poster art like this?

Third of all, it combines pro-wrestling and stand-up comedy. What more can be said?

I mean, other than — please look at everybody’s names:

Main Event:
Fatal Four Way Elimination Match- Who is the King Of California?
“Big Country” Jody Kristofferson Vs “The British Messiah” Timothy Thatcher Vs “Rock Legend Scum” Adam Thornstowe Vs “Wrestling Personified” Rik Luxury

High Flying Lucha Showcase:
“The Mexican Werewolf” El Chupacabra Vs Shiek Khan Abadi

Tag Team War:
The Suburban Commandos Vs Mike Hayashi + Mike Rayne

Punk Rock Vs Lucha Libre
Luster The Legend (Reno Scum) Vs Lucha Magnifico (Hoodslam)

Special Challege Match:
Jeckles the Jester Vs Dylan Drake

Yeah. See you there.

Full press release after the jump:

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This guy was tearing ass down Hampshire Street last night around 2, leaning on his horn every time he was about to run through a stop sign.

Is that the proper etiquette? You wake me from my slumber and run me over? Also, Potrero would’ve been much faster. What gives? He kept it up for blocks and blocks way off into the distance.

Check it out! Backseat Beat featured a MM favorite, Social Studies, performing on top of some hill above the Cow Palace.

Social Studies was definitely the hottest band in the Berkeley co-ops in the early 2000s. I remember many nights watching them play in the Cloyne Court kitchen while munching on a vegan Chik Patty sandwich with Prego sauce.

Jesse, the bass player, was Cloyne’s maintenance manager, a total babe, and his signs always had excellent penmanship. In this interview, he details what it was like going to French high school. Wow, no jocks, no prom, just a bunch of skinny kids smoking cigs? What was there to rebel against? I probably would have ended up in a fraternity just to be “different”.

Anyway, their music rocks too. Check out Backseat Beat for more.

Update: I was audited by some notable co-op historians. Andrew points out that I probably mixed them up with Spunky Brewster, an ’80s cover band for which Jesse played guitar. Kat says Social Studies formed after we lived at Cloyne. Turns out my memory really was affected by all the drinking and contact highs.

MM reader Billy L. lives just a few doors down from the 500 Club, which as you may or may not know is getting a makeover, and fills us in on the progress:

But don’t worry purists, it appears they’re just fortifying the back bar (or maybe that’s just today’s project). The bar is scheduled to re-open on Friday. Until then, the fine folks there have been nice enough to provide us with alternative solutions for getting our swerve on. Cheers to that.

Which other like-minded, early-opening bars make the 500′s suggestion list?  Will they still (not) be open at 6am?

The answers, plus what may be your last-ever look at the iconic bar, after the jump . . .

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In Portland you can put a bird on it. Funny, haha, whatever.

In the Mission? Put a wad of toilet paper in it! REAL TALK.

Yep. And by this dopey Italian duo no less:

Prepare to be rocked:

The only thing that would make this song better is if I was wearing the nasty shirt while listening to it.

What’s more, it was popularized by possibly THE MOST INSANE TUMBLR I HAVE EVER SEEN. Get lost in that for a few hours why dontcha?

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Whoa, sorry we missed this back in campaign season! Apparently our boy Benny Gold was a big supporter of our boy our boy Supervisor Scott Weiner. At least I hope that’s what this means.

In any case, this remnant of some kind of fun remains in the bathroom at Poppp’s.

But why is this trap just sitting unattended on a section of 24th Street in the middle of the night? Somebody plug this piece into an Ecto-Containment Unit where it belongs!

Dude, wait! It was supposed to say “DARK ART$”!

I know, dude. This totally happened to me before! Back in Bristol I used to write “£IBERAL ARTS” and people kept fucking with it! I was appalled! That’s when I switched to “AI₦’T MISBEHAVI₦’.”