Mission Mission

I think Steve Jobs took this photo when he stopped by

San Francisco’s finest pizza and porn, together at last.  Kind of like a frat party.  So far, the Kink crew has hit up the Knockout and, allegedly, the Kilowatt.  Where will they be next?  Smart money’s on Benders.

(Thanks to, ummm, Robert for the tip–yeah, that’s the ticket)

[Photos and Video from Kink.com, both probably NSFW]

Just don’t try from an iPad.

Previously:

Kink at the Knockout (NSFW)

The Tens Takes You Inside The Armory

Anti-Porn Bias Costs Kink Cash

Pre-Internet Kink.com Armory

Breaking Pizza News at Arinell

It seems that if one heads North on 5 (or “The 5″ for you SoCal people) for about 474 miles one can run into a little town called Oakland.

The population on record is just under the three digit mark, and, like many small towns along the way, much of the business in this 123 year old town seems to come from the sale of antiques. In other words, the property of the former population.

Pretty much every building has an old faded painted advertisement on the side, and the Oddfellows maintain their presence. Kind of a classic historic Western town. The athletics in this Oakland play for the Oakers, the championship winning high school teams. The school newspaper is the Oaker Chronicle.

There is no place for a traveller to sleep in Oakland, but you can stroll through in the daytime and witness a tiny town out of time. Check out this informative website and learn about the finest wineries in the area and the origin of the broad breasted bronze turkey!

Whoops.

This is news to me, but MUNI buses are equipped with front-facing cameras that have been used to spot parking violations since 2008. Due to a software glitch involving daylight savings time, the city issued 4 months of bad parking tickets. Either that, or MUNI buses are equipped with hidden flux capacitors.

ABC has the scoop:

Through a California Public Records Act request, the I-Team has confirmed the cameras on 17 buses failed to switch over to Daylight Saving Time in March, and that technicians didn’t catch the problem until the end of June.  The time was off by one hour, so the city issued 510 bad tickets during those months.

So if you’ve been ticketed recently, you might be entitled to a refund. Check the full list of affected tickets or give the SFMTA a call on your cell phone, which contains a clock that is far more advanced than that of a MUNI bus.

[via Dan Noyes at abc7news.com]

OMG the Mish! was all “OMG!” over this mural of Valencia Street on the wall South End Grill ‘n’ Bar. Look closely and you can spot Omer the rocker (aka Bum Jovi)!

If you want another challenge, see if you also spot the six things that are missing from this mural. Answers over at OMGTM.

Planning for the proposed park on 17th and Folsom is shaping up nicely.

The current design includes such non-standard park fare as a community garden area, an outdoor classroom, greenhouses, rain-collecting barrels, and even “demonstration gardens for wildlife habitat and water conservation”. Holy crap, was this thing designed by EarthFirst?

As if that weren’t enough, the park also features espaliered fruit tree fences and a bioswale! What, you don’t know what those are? Good thing Curbed SF did this thing called “research” that we casual bloggers keep hearing about:

And so you don’t have to look them big words up: a bioswale is a planted filter for water runoff from paved areas, sort of a ditch with a reason. Espalier, originally French and both a noun and a verb, is the technique of training a plant, most commonly a fruit tree, to grow on a grid or a fence.

[via Curbed SF]

While the city giveth us green bike lanes, they also taketh away: behold the bicycle crackdowns on the Wiggle.

The blossoming of bike lanes and Gavin with a paintbrush are great, but is the city now cracking down on cyclists? Junior seems to think so:

I’m kind of worried that they are a precursor to beginning widespread bicycle ticketing around the city.  You know, like back before the Critical Mass days.  I’m all for cyclists obeying the rules of the road, but the interpretation of those rules is at issue, and the price of those tickets has increased to around $300 nowadays, which can be the same as a paycheck!  But I try to stay out of politics . . .

And behold this ominous San Francisco bicycle ordinance!

Oh crap, that’s from 1903, sorry.  Scanologist Eric Fischer brings us this century old news.

But some things haven’t changed — sections 1-4 are regularly ignored in the Mission.  And as Eric notes, “Speed limit 6 mph. A $500 fine then would have been like $10,000 now.” We certainly would not have survived that era. (But we certainly need to bring back the practice of “scorching”. And I am going to work in “Machines of Similar Character” into everyday conversation.)

1895 regs — biggest difference is a concern about transporting children on bikes.

As for irony, the first “good roads” campaigns were pushed by cyclists in the late 19th century.

As bicycle outings surged in popularity, riders everywhere shared a common burden — hazardous roads. Soon [Albert] Pope began speaking across the country about the need for good roads. “The high point to be aimed at,” he said back in 1889, “is the recognition of the importance of the whole situation by the national government.”

Then Henry Ford came along.

Some historical context on the conditions of roads in the late 1800s is available in old San Francisco municipal reports.

The city struggled to keep up with the surge in popularity of bicycles. I found this 1894 report amusing.

BICYCLE ROAD EXTENSION

Your Commissioners have always borne in mind the fact that the public is made up of separate human beings with separate tastes, whose comfort and convenience demand regard.

Keeping this in view, the bicycle road was constructed last year exclusively for the use of patrons of the wheel, and a further extension of this road is proposed during the coming year to run parallel with the main drive.

The rapid development of the present interest in bicycling among all classes is something astonishing, and as the Park is a favorite haunt of the cyclists, it is incumbent upon your Commissioners to attend to their interests and wants.

That first line is pretty much SF in a nutshell.

Looks like this place has a spot opening up!  Who wants to call Jim for details?

Read it bigger.

(Thanks Cranky Old Mission Guy!)

Previously:

Worst Neighbors Ever?

“Vocal” Neighbors Getting Ellis Acted

The Landlord’s Side of the Story

Alleged “Crazy” Neighbor’s Side of the Story!

Readers over at SFist recently voted on what they feel should be the motto of San Francisco, and the winner by plurality was “Not Smug.  Just Better,” with “Back Door! BACK DOOR! Step Down! STEP DOWN!” coming in a close second.  This got me wondering, does the Mission have a motto?  Does it even need one?  If so, what would it be?

What do you think, guys?  How does “PBR and Jameson” sound?

[Photo by Emmanuelle via SFist]

Hey, remember the 90′s? Remember Puck from the The Real World SF ’94? Well times are hard, even for homophobic bike messengers named after hockey equipment.

Puck’s own ZO messenger bag is for sale on Ebay, along with a bunch of his other junk collectively called “Puck’s Treasures“. They don’t come with certificates of authenticity, so who knows if they are legit. I guess that sorta fat guy posing with the gear could be him; I don’t really remember what he looks like. But then again, if you’re actually interested in buying this crap, maybe I don’t care if you get ripped off or not.

Suddenly, I feel the urge to have a Real World ’94 marathon at Bender’s. Does anyone have these on tape?

[Thanks to Millie Castro for the tip]

If you like art or music or food or short films or rad people or just kickin’ it on Capp Street you should head to these fine institutions this Saturday. Three art spaces mere steps away from one another are joining forces to simultaneously rock your world.

The Sub will have art and photography on display for your viewing delight as well as live music and DJ skills. 199 Capp Street.

Kitsch Gallery will host a silent auction to benefit Homeless Children’s Network and have some pleasing music to lull you into giving. 3265 17th Street.

The Secret Alley (of which I am a member) will take you through paintings and installations downstairs, then upstairs to show you super sweet short films presented by Wholphin in the afternoon and then rock your body with live jammy jams in the evening. 180 Capp Street.