Mission Mission

Beretta’s bathrooms are usually pretty tag-free, right? How’d this guy slip in?

On a nondescript Sunday at the 500 Club, one particular karaoke crooner’s artful rendition of a George Michael song managed to attract the attention of members of both sexes, so much so that they each posted competing Missed Connections vying for his affection.

He must be doing something right!  Team Vag fired the first salvo:

500 Club karaoke – boy in the striped shirt – w4m (mission district)

i liked the way you sang george michael.

i was with my roommate and we split really fast when we realized we were running late to a show.

wish i would have talked to you.

i was the one in the white dress.

p.s. i’ve never posted here before. yikes.

Sensing that the opportunity was slipping way, Team Penis finally got on the board later that night:

Singing George Michael at 500 club on Sunday – m4m – 25 (mission district)

You were singing George Michael at 500 club on Sunday. I’m shy and wearing a green sweater — which is why I didn’t say hi. Email me if you want to grab a drink at 500 club sometime.

No need to fight!  I’m sure there’s plenty of him to go around.  And I wouldn’t have said hi either if I was wearing a green sweater.  The point is that I think it’s safe to say that striped shirts are back (though neither poster specifies vertical or horizontal–this is important, people!).

Stay tuned for more hyper-hyper-hyper-local news!

[Photo (probably not of boy in question) by Scott Annechino, karaoke photographer extraordinaire]

Local band Monarchs (couldn’t find their website) apparently hired some day laborers to star in their music video filmed on Bernal Hill. I think I’ll just leave it at that.

From the director Joseph T.:

This a video of a day laborer rock band performing on the top of Bernal Hill.  Thought you might find it interesting.  I think the guys hang out in some of the labor camps around the Bayshore Uhaul station:

Or so it says.

Plus, you think you spend a lot of time looking for parking, this guy spends all his time looking at parking.

If you’re like me and you’ve been wondering what the fuck an arepa is, Grubstreet is happy to tell you, in a post about the opening of Pica Pica on Valencia Street that includes the full text of the menu. Read it and you will come away with a greater understanding of Venezuelan food and a desire to eat some soon.

Photo by lesleyk.

Ramona today looks at one of Western Civilization’s least civilized customs:

At a restaurant the designation “large party” is like those “oversize load” signs they put on flatbed trucks that are carrying mobile homes down the freeway. The person who said, “Let’s cut this house in half and drive it down the interstate.” Is probably the same ambitious person who said “Let’s go out to dinner with 16 of our closest friends. That sounds fun.”

See just how ugly fun it gets.

Photo by SarahZoraya.

Apologies for the early morning bluster.  I must still be high off the dopamine rush from last week’s Bike to Work Day.  But it’s not all empty bravado!  Take a second to look around and you’ll surely notice!

For instance, this driver has apparently learned from her earlier bike-lane-obstructing transgressions and is now double-parking in the rightmost vehicle lane instead of the bike lane.  I gave her a thumbs up and some verbal affirmation, and she smiled back.  She really seems like a polite (although mildly oblivious) lady.  Glad to see she’s figured things out!

And what do we have here?  JUSTICE!!!

This is the first time I’ve seen private vehicles getting ticketed for failing to make a right turn onto 10th Street from Market.  Sorry to rub it in, drivers, but is it really so hard to read those signs? 

Before you know it, the jerk mentality behind Shut Your Fucking Mouth Bitch Or I’ll Knock You Off Your Bike will be a distant memory.  Or will it?  Will cyclists and cars always hate each other?

Previously:

Freshly Painted Green Bike Lanes on Market Apparently Not Quite Enough

Segway to Work Day

Shut Your Fucking Mouth Bitch Or I’ll Knock You Off Your Bike

A long time ago in this very land (sometime in 2003) I sat alone in my living room, looking out the window onto Guerrero Street and wondered how I could connect with the people of the neighborhood, hear their thoughts, start a dialogue, without having to actually leave my house and face people in real life. Yes, it sounds sad and lonely. Whatever. The point is, I didn’t know about hyperlocal blogs or anything, so I made do with what I had. Which, apparently, wasn’t much. I figured I’d have to do some fishing.

One morning I tied a piece of paper onto a length of fishing line, attached a pen at the end and lowered them both out the window. I left my house for the day and when I came home that night I reeled the paper in (pen gone).

Here’s what I got:

GOOD MORNING. (if evening, please reverse)

What were you just thinking about?

being @ the beach w/ my aunt

eating pastries

putting a battery in my garage door opener

taking this pen

Hope and nothing but

des paturages sublimes de betes vertigineuses

The other side after the jump (Hey! The other side is the original after the jump!)

(more…)

High school flashbacks available at 20th and Valencia.

Previously:

Spurned Scenester Sullies Sightly Street Art

Sightly Street Art Restored in a Flash! 

In honor of what is apparently Bodily Functions Week here on Mission Mission, my microscopic bladder, and as a visiting blog tourist, I’d like to take this opportunity to praise your bar/restaurant restroom options.

Here’s my unofficial Mission Sit or Squat break down.

(Note: these reviews are strictly for the ladies, although on a previous visit I did  sneak into the men’s room at Beretta and found it to be quite clean.)

Shotwells- definitely a sit. Nice and clean, with no shortage of soap or paper towels.

Amnesia- ugh, squat! On two separate nights I visited, and between them I got in all my isometric exercise for the week. But, I don’t blame the bar, I blame the near-sighted lady patrons.

Tacqueria Cancun- I think I’m going to go with sit, although my judgment may be blurred by the muchas cervezas I consumed earlier in the evening.

The Uptown- hmm, this was kind of a sit/squat situation. On the one hand you have to pass through a completely pitch black room containing the sink, which was almost creepy enough to make me abort mission entirely, but once I braved it I found the toilet itself to be super clean.

But the winner of the week was Benders, if only because the first stall contains this mystical unicorn graffiti!

Unicorns are magical creatures, even when watching you do your business.

Overall, you Mission ladies seem to be way less nasty than us dirty birds back in Boston, or at the very least you have some pretty diligent toilet scrubbers working the bars.

Either way, give yourselves a hand! (but make sure you’ve washed them first, okay?)