Mission Mission

Is it any less cool if your main key opens a Camry instead of a Krypto lock?

While it might not have all the chuptzah of the new Bay Citizen community news experiment, the masters of Mediterranean dining at Old Jerusalem nonetheless have a website that refuses to be left out of the discussion.  Not content to merely the hold the title for Best Falafel in the Mission (according to vegansaurus!), they also appear to pursuing the award for Spiffiest-Looking Restaurant Website.

Not only does it play scientific sounding beeps and boops whenever you mouse-over various icons, but a video demonstration by a mildly attractive virtual tour guide instantly materializes to walk you through the various features, ensuring you don’t get caught on the wrong side of the checkpoints.  Of course, the discerning veiewer sees through all this pomp and circumstance to the generic interface overlaid with OJ graphics, but you still have them an A for effort.

Does anyone have any other favorite Mission restaurants or local businesses with hilariously incongruent websites?

[Link, thanks Travis!]

Previously:

Hands Down the Best Falafel in the Mission

Something is Going on in Zaytoon

Carlos Reyes has the scoop.

Previously:

Human Trafficking Ring Exposed in Dolores Park

Noel from the Secret Alley has a very important announcement:

Done with church on Sunday May 23^rd? Well, F.T. Productions of The Secret Alley is looking to make you a beer and Jello shot richer (while supplies last). If you want to come on by the Alley, record a zombie groan correlating with a specific zombie prerecorded on video, shouldn’t take more than 2-10 minutes, that beer and jello are as good as yers.

To get in, simply arrive at 180 Capp Street from 2pm-11pm, type #004 on the keypad and groan into the speaker. Journey to the second floor (The Secret Alley) and someone will be there to assist you with further instructions.

On your marks, get set, go!

Photo by Rev. Xanatos Satanicos Bombasticos (ClintJCL).

Previously:

Jello Wrestling at Bender’s

Zombie Tamale Lady

Zombie Movie

I’ve been seriously jonesing for a pulled pork BBQ sandwich for the past few weeks, and today what do I see (and smell) at Alemany Farmer’s Market but the Good Foods Bay Area Urban BBQ tent.

Their pulled pork sandwich was very much awesome:

And the salmon burger ALSO was worthy. (I have been bitterly disappointed by salmon burgers at other lesser establishments in the past).

While I didn’t get one, the “New BLT” was being seemingly ordered by everyone other person, so I’d certainly gamble on it.

So it’s no wonder they won the SF Weekly “Best Roaming BBQ” competition.

“Ball, who’s cooked at Delfina, Spork, Contigo, and Google, told SFoodie that this pillowy and tender offering is smoked for eight hours and cooked for an additional six, equaling 14 hours of love you can taste.”

More SF Weekly Dontaye Ball BBQ coverage here.

But there’s even better news for lovers of billowy and tender offerings — Dontaye and company will be at the Bayview Sunday Streets on 3rd St tomorrow. Just look for these SF Weekly and SF Food Wars award winners (silver pig and golden statuette may or may not be present):

And like any roaming food dispensary, he’s also on Twitter.

While we were on the subject of beating on one another with cardboard tubes, I was reminded of this video I shot in the park in ’08 of the Cardboard Tube Fighting League. Damn, it’s been two years? Did this ever happen again?

Previously:

Capp Street Tube Fight

I first heard of the controversial David Choe through his totally addictive Thumbs Up series on vbs.tv. In addition to being the type of guy who will inject testosterone into his biceps before running across the Mexican border, he also happens to be an amazing artist who, yes, at times, dabbles in graffiti (not that we’re into that sort of thing).

The documentary of his fucked-up life, Dirty Hands, sold out pretty quickly at the Asian Film Festival some time ago, but lucky for us the Roxie is screening it all week starting yesterday until Friday. Check out the trailer and details below.

Street artist, petty thief, porn illustrator, born-again Christian, corporate shill—these are a few of the complex sides of artist David Choe as portrayed in DIRTY HANDS. DIRTY HANDS is 93 minutes and is not MPAA rated.

Director Harry Kim first began filming Choe’s exploits eight years ago, turning footage of freeway and bus-stop graffiti bombings into the short film WHALES AND ORGIES. DIRTY HANDS follows Choe’s remarkable fortunes since then—from ghost writing lesbian fiction to displaying his art in ice cream parlors to selling out multi-million dollar gallery shows. DIRTY HANDS benefits from a staggering amount of video that seemingly details every major and minor moment of his life. Besides chronicling Choe’s ever-changing coifs, this obsessive Kim shapes a mesmerizing “warts and all” sketch of the artist’s endless contradictions, failures and triumphs, ranging from this darkest moments in a Japanese jail to his lucrative cachet in hipsterati circles, to his troubled relationship with a long-term girlfriend. Choe has painted with aerosol, blood, urine and soy sauce. DIRTY HANDS captures Choe as one of contemporary art’s most darkly enigmatic figures.

For more info: www.dirtyhandsmovie.com Directed by Harry Kim. Running Time: 93 mins. Showtimes: Nighty at 6:10, 8:00 & 9:50. Additional Saturday & Sunday matinees at (2:00) & 4:00,

Want to see a bunch of bands (some legendary, some soon to be legendary) play on Sunday afternoon in the backyard of a Roadhouse-style roadhouse in the Sacramento Valley? With burgers and beer and sun and fun? Then grab some friends and carpool up to Operation: Restore Maximum Freedom 9 near Davis.

Above are pictures I took at last May’s edition of the semi-regular festival. That’s Thee Oh Sees up top, maybe Mayyors in the middle, and a bunch of legs on the bottom.

Here’s this edition’s awesome lineup:

X (Australia)
A-Frames (Seattle)
Moon Duo (SF)
Jacuzzi Boys (Miami)
Foot Village (SF)
Robedoor (LA)
Delorean (Sac)
Rank/Xerox (SF)
Chelsea Wolfe (Sac)
Mucky the Ducky (Davis)
UC Davis Gamelan Ensemble (Davis)
English Singles (Sac)

And here’s this edition’s awesome commemorative t-shirt:

Our buddy Alexandra Sheehan is on the scene at the neighborhood’s hottest new Venezuelan spot:

DUDE! Pica Pica is esuper en vogue! Gent on the end none other than Project Runway alumn (Season 2) Nick Verreos! He was well coiffed and walked out in an impeccably tailored — arepa stain free– trench. I can’t believe I recognized him.

See him?

Thanks, Al!

So heated! If they’re not more careful, somebody’s going to flèche right into oncoming traffic. Parry your buns back onto the sidewalk, you guys!

Previously:

I Love Living in the City (City of Cardboard)