Mission Mission

My favorite soju-slingin’ bar Amnesia has been redecorating, and it looks like they are going for a nautical theme. They are soliciting donations for items such as:

-Old Steamer Trunks (antique big leather and metal kind)
-Large docking rope
-Lamps, lanterns with nautical appeal
-Ship wheels
-portholes (round frames or windows)
-Chandeliers (send a picture first!)
-old, thin barn wood
-Any wooden barrels of any size
-wooden ship figure heads
-old model ships
-old ships in bottles
-taxidermy of the nautical variety… fish, sea birds, etc
-any other sort of old-timey nautical nonsense that seems appropriate for our cozy chamber.

This seems like a somewhat odd request from a place that’s across the street from a goddamned pirate store, but who am I to judge. Contact them amnesiasf (at) gmail.com if you’ve got the goods.

(via Mission Locatl)

The construction crews have finished re-paving the street and have commenced painting the new boundaries for vehicles, bicycles, and pedestrians.  At first glance, it might look a lot like the old Valencia.  However, the discerning viewer can appreciate the myriad improvements here. 

First of all, that wide, unnecessary, center-dividing “parking lot” has been eliminated in favor a simple, sensible yellow line that widens only at intersections to allow for left turns.  Sorry bros, no more parking in the center divider just so you can pop into Puerto Alegre for a quick marg.  Gonna have to stick with the party bus from now on.

As a result, this creates significantly more space for vehicles in the middle of the road, which consequently allows the bicycle lanes to not only be wider but also further away from the rogue suddenly-swinging-open parked car doors that have a nasty habit of clotheslining unsuspecting cyclists. 

Vehicles still have enough space to park (as before), while pedestrians also manage to come out ahead since they get a few extra feet of sidewalk space.  So if I see you and 4 of your friends all walking towards me on the sidewalk in a horizontal line so you can all pleasantly chat together, I’ll still think you’re an asshole, but at least I’ll be able to get by you.

So, what’s the final equation, Prof? 

[Valencia] – [center divider] = [more fucking space for everybody]

Of course, I’m all for the “greening” of San Francisco, but I think the city planners might have taken things a little too far in this case . . .

Previously:

Coming Soon: Valencia Streetscape Improvements

Valencia Doing Work

Getting A Feel For The New Valencia

Dude seriously, if you go all out on the Fourth, AAA will tow you home for free, member or not. Take advantage! Johnny Funcheap has all the particulars.

RAZRvision masterpiece by mrak75.

Look at that champ up there, mid back flip. And look at that girl’s outfit. Summertime!

Photo and photo by Dylan Bigby.

Reader Laurie V. tells us what’s up:

Thought you might be interested in this tidbit: I live a few doors
down from the corner of 19th & Lexington (you know, where the lesbian
bar is). There was an old corner shop there that shut down 3 years ago
and has been closed ever since. 2 years ago, construction started on
turning it into a new restaurant — but it never seemed to get it
together. There’d be a burst of construction for a month, then it
would suddenly stop again. As neighbours, we got planning permission
letters every time it applied for a licence, which it did under 3
different names over 2 years. I’d just resigned myself to the fact
that it would never open, but today on my walk home I spotted a bunch
of people drinking inside, so I knocked on the window and asked what
was up. It turns out the place changed hands again last week; one
“Emily” has taken over the lease and says they plan to open in
October, serving “seasonal soul food”. I sure hope they do, as it
would be great to have a new restaurant 2 doors away! (To say nothing
of the awesome-in-concept Hog and Rocks, which looks like it is nearly
ready to open)

Yum! Thanks, Laurie!

Hella old photo by Seldo.

Someone brought this sheep (singular) to Dolores Park. It was only 2 months old, so I’m pretty sure he’s going to have his hands full in a year or so when this thing is full grown, knocking down doors and butting his head into parked cars all over the place.

He was really soft, for the record.

Previously:

Cute Baby Animal in Dolores Park

Sheep in the Park

Some of you may have noticed that the regular “Elbo Room” sign had recently been replaced with another older-looking one that reads “Amelia’s.”  Now, it’s back to the “Elbo Room” again.  So, what’s going on here?

Well, after talking to some key Elbo staff, it turns out that around 20 years ago the Elbo Room used to be a rocking dyke bar named Amelia’s that allegedly would have put the Lex to shame.  Every year when Pride rolls around, they dig the old sign out of storage and install it in front as an homage to the bar’s colorful history.  Then, when Pride weekend ends and all the brunches are over, bloody marys flowing in the gutter, they lock it up again and go back to the regular ol’ Elbo Room.  So there you go!

History lesson with Professor Sarkarati over!

Back to Normal

[Normal Elbo Photo by SF Bar Experiment]

Totally asked six people if this was a sheep or a lamb or a kid or what and nobody knew. Anyway, it’s a cute baby animal.

Photo by cardiffteam.

Previously:

Sheep in the Park

It’s been a long-standing revenge fantasy of mine to set up a decoy bike and equip it with GPS from a cheap cell phone. Then I’d wait for it to get stolen and track it down to the source: some kind of crime kingpin guy with an eyepatch living in a mansion in Russian Hill. He’d know the jig was up and there would be an epic chase ending at the top of Sutro Tower. Then there would be a high-altitude fight scene involving crossbows and I think you can fill in the rest.

Unfortunately, thinking over this scenario further, it never seemed to make logistical sense. I mean yeah, maybe I’d track the bike to an intersection in Bayview, but then what? Knock on every door and ask, “uh, did you steal a bike recently?” then mace the dude on the spot if he answers yes?

Good thing the SFPD is teaming up with the SF Bicycle Coalition to do these sorts of sting operations for us. Sometimes it’s best to leave things to the pros.

SFAppeal reports:

The sting operation pilot program will begin later this summer and will target the Richmond district, according to Esparza. A decoy bike will be set up with a transmitter and once it is stolen, police will be able to track the bike to the person in possession of it. The SFPD will also continue keeping an eye out for stolen bicycles on Craiglist and in Bay Area pawn shops.

So basically if you want your bike to be safe, park it in the Richmond for the next couple of months.

Get the rest of the scoop at SFAppeal.

Whoa. Swing dancers in fancy dress, old west bank-heist bandannas, Run DMC ghetto blaster, and the title of my favorite Kinks song (but since Lala is gone I can’t link to it, so sad). This is a melting pot of cultures and ideologies almost as badass as the USA itself.

Photo by captin nod.