Mission Mission

Last week we held a contest in partnership with INNA pickle INNA jam. To win a bunch of jams and pickles, you needed to tell us your best story involving pickles or jam or being in a pickle or jam. Jen’s story takes the cake:

Revenge is best served smeared with a dollop of strawberry jam. We were chugging along in our old tank of a Volvo, in bumper to bumper traffic, trying to escape the blizzard sweeping into Lake Tahoe. The litterbugs in the car in front of us decided to toss a nearly full can of Coke out their window. Had the half-frozen can actually struck our windshield, it doubtless would have shattered our only protection from the blisteringly cold weather. Instead, it miraculously missed by a centimeter, bouncing instead off the metal side structural support. Furious, our driver managed to maneuver in front of them. Being unable to handle both breakfast and windy mountain roads, I had skipped breakfast that morning. Fortuitously, the jelly donut was still perched on the dashboard. The shotgun passenger rolled down the window, took careful aim, and lobbed the donut at the thoughtless louts in the car behind us. It splattered directly in the center of their windshield. Trying desperately to get strawberry jam out of their only line of sight, they made the mistake of turning on their windshield wipers. The result was that their vision was now completely obscured by smeared strawberry jam, and they had to pull over to clean it off by hand in the icy cold.

Whoa! Way to use some jam to get yourselves out of a pickle!

The folks at INNA will be delivering to Jen’s front door the following prize package:

2 jars of albion STRAWBERRY jam
1 jar of plenty spicy JALAPEÑO jam
1 jar of bread + butter persian CUCUMBER pickles
a perpetual postcard calendar

Yum!

The rest of us can still be winners too, by cashing in on INNA’s July-Only Annual Jam-and-Pickle Subscription Special!

Previously:

Legit Rap Song About Volvo Station Wagon

VOLVO!!!

I figured out why Barcelona and San Francisco were fated to become sister cities. It’s the street art, stupid! Both cities are obsessed with ’80s pop culture. Check it out:

Barcelona:

San Francisco:

Case closed.

But if you’re interested, see some Space Invaders at I Heart Street Art: In Barcelona and some Gizmos in The Gremlins Are Proliferating.

[Barcelona photo by I Heart Street Art; Stay Puft photo by sixsixty, via SFist.]

Related:

Vic Wong’s Proton Pack

We’ve been talking all week about how rough the dating scene is around here. Yesterday, reader afroblanco explained why it’s not just dating that’s tough, but friendships too:

Yes, without a doubt, this is a city full of flakes. People do NOT follow through on plans. This is most painful when it comes to dating, so I think we notice it more in that situation. But actually, I’ve noticed this exact same tendency for friends and hanging out. You make plans with somebody, and (as somebody upthread said) you have like a 50% chance they’ll follow through. WHERE DO PEOPLE GET THE IDEA THAT THIS IS REMOTELY ACCEPTABLE!?

Later, reader SRK retorted:

And all this shit about San Francisco being full of “flakes” that, as well, is complete shit. We hang out with our friends when WE WANT to hangout, we’re not constantly looking for some new thing or new acquaintances. This is a lifestyle city, enjoy it or leave. It’s not a fucking rat race and we’re okay with that. Hopefully, you’ll get there too someday.

Who’s right? I know I’ve been flaked on, and I know I’ve done some flaking (sorry, you guys!!), but is it really because we’re San Franciscans? Is it an epidemic? Or are we okay?

In case you need some extra guidance, this daily update is on the new postin’ posts on Valencia St. Somebody is clearly on top of keeping it up to date.

Forget what day of the week it is? No problem, check out the post. What’s the current terrorist alert level? Lime… well that’s good I guess. Looks like irrational numbers aren’t exempt from the daily lucky number. Are imaginary numbers also allowed? You’re just going to have to stay tuned.

Proving that you can stick it to the man and be educational.

For more on Moiré patterns, consult this informative wiki entry. For more nightmarish photos of mouth as eyes, go here… and plan on not sleeping tonight.

Snapped on 18th & Valencia St.

Did someone accidentally/intentionally leave a tub of chalk on the block between 17th and 18th on Valencia? I’m looking at you Chalk Visions. Last night the new sparkly sidewalk was blanketed with scrawlings from dozens of people, or one person with severe schizophrenia. So how do Mission folks choose to express themselves?

With CEREBUS COCK AND BALLS:

With HIGHLY CONTROVERSIAL OPINIONS ABOUT HIPSTERS AND FIXED-GEAR CYCLISTS:

… and with HISTORICAL FACTS (with bonus burritojustice shout out! I guess blogger hat-tip etiquette still applies in real life):

Check it out for yourself on 17th and Valencia. Hell, add to it if you want, but it’s probably a BYOC affair at this point.

Anyone who commutes down Valencia or Market on the regular no doubt has come across this fellow at one time or another.  How could you possibly miss his grey grizzled flowing beard and locks, or his duct-taped battletank of a Schwinn Sapphire that he pedals around so furiously?

This morning I finally decided to say a little more than “what’s up?” and managed to have quite a nice rolling conversation with the guy (I’m sure the fact that I was wearing the exact same jacket helped too), starting on Valencia at around 17th and lasting all the way to the end of Market.  Here’s a paraphrased transcript of our “interview” while in motion:

On how long in the biz:

I’ve been a bike messenger in SF for 35 years.  The last 28 of those years have been on this Schwinn Sapphire, except for about 3 months when it was stolen in the Mission.  Luckily, a friend spotted it about 3 months later at Bay and Gough.  The jerks couldn’t even get the U-lock off (they had cut through a skinny pole to which it had been attached to get it), so they just dumped it!

On Critical Mass:

It all started when a bunch of drunk bike messengers got tired of SF police handing out $20 tickets to cyclists all the time for bullshit minor offenses, like not putting your foot down at a stop sign.  $20 was a big chunk of your take home pay way back then, so they decided to shut down some key intersections around the city and show the cops they couldn’t just fuck with them.  Seems to have gotten their attention.

(more…)

We Built This City, for the second time this week, delivers a picture of some food that looks so good I want to jump through my computer screen and devour. This time it’s the soba salad at Cha-Ya.

Previously:

This Zante’s Indian Pizza Sure Looks Good Despite the Blurry Cellphone Photography

These cute little burnouts have been popping up around town reminding me to blaze my daze away. Seen here in Hayes Valley, but a French one hit me up in the bathroom at Dalva right before Mario jumped in and took care of business. Got it?

Oh cool.

Chicago sure is different.

(Thanks, mr_htcht!)

Previously:

Chicago Street Art