I feel like this could easily be an Onion story in which a “journalist” interviews an irate suburbanite about their exaggeratedly bad time at Dolores Park and subsequent Yelp review. Only this is real life:
#1 – Dont buy baked goods from people here, or breathe the air in general if you work at a job where you are drug tested. I was so stoned I couldnt function correctly for days (Please See Review of Delano’s IGA).
#2 – Wild, muddy dog runs wild and drops tennis ball soaked in mud/vomit/hell on my bare legs. Steph throws ball away. Rabid great dane thinks this is fun. Runs to another blanket with a dog and recruits him to join terror spree. Three minutes later, a pack of dogs are running amuck, knocking over margaritas, stepping on the packages of boys in neon blue speedos, slobbering on small children who scream in terror. The owners watch, nonplussed. So much for leashes. Lesson: I now have a love of muzzles and a renewed disgust for all varieties of balls.
#3 – Man wearing American Airlines headphones props himself above my lady friends and I and politely smiles, yet begins to masturbate. He finishes after we squeal and laugh and point. He decides to move closer down the hill to us and go for round two. Lesson: If this is the ”view” and “culture” everyone is raving about, count me out.
(link)
Ha! She gave it two stars!
Because at least there wasn’t any poison oak.
Because secretly she liked the happy ending.
“a renewed disgust for all varieties of balls”
When has squealing ever stopped a man and his wang? Amature mistake.
twat.
Ouch. Stop judging us Tiffany L. – so we don’t have a fake lake like you do in Foster City; we make do.
Moral of the story? Keep Foster City in Foster City.
Clearly I need to stop bringing my great dane, tennis balls, Van Halen and wet lube down to Dolores Park for a bit. Best to lay low, speedo. See you at Bernal Hill!
man what the hell. go back to foster city
I had never considered masturbating at Dolores Park.
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.
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Now I have. And will.
I’m feeling proud right now.
plagiarized!!!
http://www.yelp.com/biz/dolores-park-san francisco#hrid:D0QlxiC0l2oPpnRmhCJuIA
so she’s kinda mean and apparently not that smart too!
This is not the only Yelp review “Tiffany L” has plagiarized. Her most recent Sears review was taken from someone else’s Yelp about the San Jose Sears. Who the hell goes around stealing other people’s Yelp reviews? To what purpose?
Unfortunately for Foster City, there is neither a “Chevy’s” nor an “Applebees” in DP. How is a girl supposed to eat?
it sounds to me like she had the best park day ever & still has the need to bitch. ingrate!