Headline Shirts brings us a new t-shirt celebrating the Mission. I love the completely unrelated product description:
The problem with ranting against “Mission hipsters” is that everyone is one, and nobody admits to being one. We, on the other hand, freely admit guilt. But if you’re still grappling with whether you qualify, here’s a quick test:
Do you sometimes call Ritual Roasters “the office?” (Add 1 point.)
Does your schnoodle also have an ironic sweater? (Add 2 points.)
Do you know what a Bicycle Music Festival is? (Add 2 points.)
Do you keep a journal of your Muni travels? (Add 1 point.) Are you looking for a publisher? (Add 3 points.)
Do you refer to anything east of Valencia as “the deep Mission”? (Add 1 point.)
Did your last “political rally” concern the opening of an American Apparel store? (Add 1 point.)
Were you wearing an American Apparel product at the time? (Add 2 points.)
Do you know who Caesar Chavez was? (Subtract 2 points.)
If you totaled 7 or more points, welcome to the team! You’re officially part of the problem.
(Thanks Laura!)
A taco with beans, cheese and sour cream? Is The Mission somewhere in Canada?
Get a taco (the veggie) with beans, cheese and sour cream at La Altena in the “deep Mission.”
sweet. +1. Can I subtract another two points if I never go into Ritual Roasters again?
I would kneel before this man.
You would kneel before *any* man.
That is an overstatement.
For real the shirt’s alright, but where can we get the boy?
totalllly..
I scored -2. Does that make me the worst kind of hipster?
Although I do often Twitter about Muni and BART en route from my iPhone.
What’s the point of living in that part of town if you’re not going to conform? CONFORM!!!!!
Where’s the fucking cilantro???
The area around Valencia and Guerrero from … well you know where … now wishes to be know as The People’s Republic of Greater Valencia. Failure to comply will be punished by quartering. Four limbs, four bicycles. It’s not pretty.
How many points for misspelling Cesar Chavez’s name? Stuff White People Like indeed…
Try: César Chávez, not, Cesar Chavez.
Questions to Mission Residents
1. Do you remember when the 500 club really did open at 6AM?
2. Did you go then? I mean at 6AM?
3. Did you mourn when the Dovre Club was pushed out to make room for the Women’s building?
4. Do you still say Army?
5. Is there a beat pair of doc martins with a hole in the sole somewhere in the back of your closet among the torn plaid shirts?
6. Do you still have a small scar from an ill advised eyebrow piercing?
7. Was J church your favorite band?
8. Did you ride a rat Suzuki without a helmet?
9. Did you recite bad poetry in smelly bars at least twice a week?
If you answered yes to any of these questions you’re a die hard and should consider moving to LaMorinda. (or least to Noe Valley)This place is over-run with children playing adult and your pioneer days are over. The frontier is conquered and the dudes have arrived.
This is the other side of the same “cred” coin. Who gives a fuck how authentic anyone is? It’s all ridiculous.
jimbeam, knobcreek here, troll much?
Re: #3: Technically the Dovre Club wasn’t pushed out to make room for the Women’s Building. They were tenants of the Women’s Building and their lease wasn’t renewed because the owners (TWB) needed the space back.
I replied yes to a majority of these questions, but I won’t be moving. Rent control is a good thing.
Do you pronounce the street as Valencha? -100 points.
What was the former name of Bugaloos? If you said Pizazz -100 points.
Before it was the Lone Palm it was???? If you said the Mirage -100 points.
Yes, my last political rally was at the city Hall over the American Apparel store, and yes, I was wearing American Apparel at the time.
@neo – excellent questions. we’re of the same vintage. i never went to the 500 at 6am, but i did go when one could be chased out for not being either over 65 or interested in heroin.
i’m happy to admit i’m a hipster, if a 43 year old can be a hipster. i came here TO BE a hipster, all those years ago. now, an aging hipster. or aged. what’s wrong with being a hipster?
also, i like that there’s old-comers and new-comers in the hood. isnt that the whole idea? isn’t it the job of youth to have an air of entitlement? i certainly had one when i wore those docs and a plaid shirt (actually i would never be caught dead in a plaid shirt).
still a little pissed about american apparel though. so dumb.
still think david campos is a stooge. HE’S one of the children playing adult…along with the rest of the “progressive” monkeys. kids in the mission are SUPPOSED to be playing adult. civic leaders are not. we all did so as kids…it’s oar for the course.
God sometimes I love this blog, because its readers hate its politics and love it anyway. MM, you’re like my parents.
If you can tell me where I can get a hard-shell taco like the one on the shirt, I’ll give you 500 points.
The bike has a cluster on it– which means its not a fixed– which is 60% of the Hipster hate nowadays…
Oh, and the chainring is on the wrong side.
http://yourenotahipster.blogspot.com/
Damn, this is a solid comment stream. I think I read Slashdot too much and am used to it degenerating quickly. Soooo:
- Hard shell tacos are available at Los Coyotes on 16th @ Hoff (only place I know of). Sometimes at 2am they are perfect, but yes, totally inauthentic.
- I went to the 500 Club at 6AM a bunch, and actually showed up one day to find out that it no longer opened then. I’ve lived in the Mission since 2000, and been drinking in it since 1995.
- I don’t drink at Ritual anymore because I don’t like lines. I am obsessed with coffee though, and believe that De La Paz may be run by a god.
- I think American Apparel should have been able to open their store. Jobs are good. Talk with your wallet and don’t shop there if you don’t like it.
- I am part of the problem: my Spanish is not great, I used to live in a loft, our current office is overpriced meaning older Mission companies couldn’t afford it, and I really like eating at those “new” restaurants like Maverick and Bar Bambino.
I love the Mission. I never want to leave, and no matter how many margaritas I have at Casanova each one is the best one I’ve ever had. This is home, and I guess that makes me kind of a hipster viking: someone else lived here and we came in to take it over, but we all live together in unstable cultural equilibrium.
i like the phrase “unstable cultural equilibrium”.
i’m not so sure. http://yourenotahipster.blogspot.com/
Ha, Hipster Viking, using that one again. The question is who will replace Hipsters in the future? Whoever does come in had better have kick-ass street food. (Looking at you Singapore!)
I am pretty sure that 90% of us hipsters grew up eating the Old El Paso hard shelled tacos.
Of course, you can make your own:
http://thepauperedchef.com/2007/08/hard-shell-taco.html
ugh, soft shell much healthier…
Hard shell tacos = worst invention ever.
When I was little I used to scrutinize the cookie monster puppet on Sesame Street to see if he was really actually eating the cookies. One day I realized that he was just breaking ‘em apart and they were just flying all over. This is how I feel when I eat a hard shell taco. I can barely get any of it into my mouth before it disintegrates into a pile of taco shell crumble.
Too bad the so-called artist who did the cartoon has absolutely no concept of how a bicycle works…at first I was going to bitch about the useless backwards gear-ratio, but now I see there aint no seat-tube at all. Now that I’m done showing how much more I know about bikes that the douchebag who drew that, I will let you know how much longer I’ve been here than most of you kooks:
-Minor Threat at the Tool and Die (I forgot the address)on Valencia Street about 1982.
-The Kilowatt/16TH Note was a Punk rock department store call The Compound with in-house hair-cutting.
-The bar inside a real train caboose at 17th and Harrison called the Whistlestop.
-The Pepsi Bottling Plant at 17th and Valen see-ya.
-Of course the Hamm’s brewery “Vats” Squat.
Now I’ve got to get out of this butt-hurt little internet backwater and keep searching for what I was really trying to find….a Mission Yoga Blog. If I find one I’m going to kill myself.
Thanks for fucking off!
aw. be nice. old people are cranky.
“ow I’ve got to get out of this butt-hurt little internet backwater”
unnecessary
that is a serious old-school list.
1982 is like the pleistocene era for the hipster mission.
predates me by 8 years…10 for full residency.
interesting that there might be someone older than me trolling around MM.
I’ve been here for 50 years. Guess I’m not a hipster…maybe a dipster??????
there’s probably no one in the mission blogging about yoga, just a guess.
I scored negative 2.
Wait, is Bjorn the dude from LCD Soundsystem? “I was there in 1974 at the first Suicide practices in a loft in New York City. I was there in Jamaica during the great sound clashes. I woke up naked on the beach in Ibiza in 1988. I was the-eee-re!”
I was the first guy playing Daft Punk to the rock kids.I played it at CBGB’s.
Everybody thought I was crazy.
I want that hipster to father my children. total deamboat…..swoooonnn
Oh, for the day when we can get through a week without talking about hipsters. Maybe mid-2010s?
We can stop talking about hipsters when someone actually makes some new and original aesthetic that is widely adopted. Until then I fear we’ll be forever scourged with people styling themselves as an amalgam of all trends before them.
On a side note. Scored a 0 which sums up my complete lack of interest pretty well.
Bwa ha ha ha or en espaniol, je je je,
Quoting an erudite blogger,
“This is pure San Franciscan mindfuckery, and it is useless to try to understand or even to pretend you understand. Instead, stare dreamily out the grimy Muni window like a shaman on peyote and whisper, “Jesus was the original hipster.” This works almost every time.”
Sweet! I get -2 points. Guess I’m safe!
I have lovely 3 kids. I’m stuck here and bittersweet suicidal about it. There is no yard and no stars.
Later when I’m drunk and doing graffiti you can all fuck off….dont step to me. Douchebags.
@glenparker – 50 years native transcends SF hipsterism i think. something transient/emigre about it in my view – but there are no absolutes. there are always exceptions. that said, you clearly have nothing to prove.
scored a zero. chávez offset my knowledge of Bicycle Music Festival. viva chávez.
Speaking of hipsters
Hipster Abraham Lincoln reviewed Fleet Foxes new song “Blue Spotted Tail”
http://knowledgementco.wordpress.com/2009/06/27/hipster-abraham-lincoln-reviewments-blue-spotted-tail-new-from-fleet-foxes/
[...] Mission Taco Shirt Headline Shirts brings us a new t-shirt celebrating the Mission. I love the completely unrelated product [...] [...]
I take it the bicycle is a fixie (that’s a Mission-mus) …love that the taco is checking his mobile…cute…although not nearly as cute as the guy wearing the T-shirt. Meow.