If you can get past the typography and the fact that you hate Muni, you might be desirous of one of these shirts from MuniShirts. If so, you’re in luck. Whoever leaves the best Muni/Mission-related anecdote in the comments section below wins a free tee of their choice.
Winner will be selected one week from right this second by MuniShirts and Mission Mission, though we will be heavily swayed by reader input, so tell us which ones you like, if you want.
Chinstrap not included.
UPDATE: Walter from MuniShirts says: “[I]f you win and want a line that isn’t available I’ll start printing that line on a regular basis. Booyah!”
More:
Heart for Your Muni Line on Your Sleeve at Eye on Blogs.
Line Pride! at Curbed SF.
One day, while riding the L from the Financial District to the Castro, I saw a tattooed, wrinkly, bald man wearing a black “Manhunt” muscle tee play with two pet mice that he kept in his backpack. That was the highlight of my week.
Really? That’s their choice of t-shirt model? A wannabe hipster ginger with a doucherific ginger chinstrap beard?
A picture of a homeless guying using one of these t-shirts to wipe his ass after taking a dump on my front steps would be more appealing…
When I lived in Potrero Hill I once waited for the 22 Fillmore for 45 minutes so that I could ride to one of the Movie Night in the Park movies. I kept checking the schedule and every time it said 22 Fillmore’s come every 15 or 20 minutes. I finally walked.
The movie was Steve McQueen’s 1968 film Bullitt. Sadly enough I missed the bus and the infamous car chase through San Francisco streets.
Oh Muni, how I love AND hate you.
i call bullshit on this contest. there is no:
-T-Third
-10 Townsend
-19 Polk
why does Potrero Hill not get invited to the party?
and dont say “22 Fillmore” b/c thats an All-City line.
I have a T-Third hat, if you wanna trade.
I have those at http://www.cafePress.com/walnotes.
You know how hard it is to print S,M,L,XL of both men’s and women’s for every bus line in this town? If you have funding send it my way. I’ll gladly do it!
In the meantime, print on demand is the way to go. And if you win and want a line that isn’t available I’ll start printing that line on a regular basis. Booyah!
walnotes, to the best of my knowledge, cafepress does not screen print their tee shirts. The images are a mix of heat transfers and direct to shirt prints (think ink jet on a shirt) depending on the run size. This is the reason you can get one offs from them.
this was a few years back so the details have become sketchy in my mind. i was on a 49 or 47 when some thug started to be generally rude to the other passengers. one of them scolded him cause he would not step up from the door stairs so that the doors could close and we could continue along our way. he started cussing her out and everyone sitting around me moved to the front (it was articulated double bus). at this point he broke the panel over the emergency lever for the doors causing the bus to stop. he jumped off and the driver got up to fix the problem. while the driver was fixing the door the thug got off and pulled the thing that connects the bus to the overhead wires. he started to run across the street when the driver jumped off the bus followed after him and when he caught up punched the thug in the back of the head, knocking him out cold (into a puddle of water)! The driver then proceeded to stomp on him a couple of times while the entire bus watched. He then came back fixed the bus and continued along as if nothing had ever happened.
Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
That is all kinds of awesome.
I’m not gonna be an asshole and say that a vertically scaled Playbill is the typographic crime of the decade but… I don’t know how to end this sentence.
By the way, too bad Monica wasted her amazing story on Decider. She coulda had herself a shirt.
Huh? Wha? Mission? Yeah?
One of my favorite memories is the time I watched a little old Chinese lady whack a young thug blocking the exit with a bok choy so she could get off the bus. He protested with a “bitch!”, but when she raised her hand to hit him again he shut up.
I caught the 14 from Mission and 4th heading to the Mission. As we are pulling up to 16th, some kid starts yelling “Don’t stop! Don’t stop!” He had been agitated for a few blocks. The driver pulls over to the 16th St. stop and a couple kids that had been chasing the bus burst through the doors next to me in the middle of the bus. An altercation ensues that I didn’t see (yes, I was ducking). Next thing I know I feel something wet on my arm. Fearing for the worst, I look down. Someone had spilled their ice cream on my arm. The fighting kids spill off the bus knocking down senior citizens as they exit. One of the elders sits down on the steps at the front of the bus because her knee was hurt. The bus cannot close its doors and continue on. Another senior, this one in a brown poly suit and matching hat, apparently unhurt, starts yelling at the driver who was helping the injured woman. He’s yelling over and over “Let’s go motherfucker, let’s go!” I got off and walked the rest of the way home. That’s the last time I have ridden that bus, the one my friends call “The mumbler”.
bwaahaaaahaaaaa…I can’t stop laughing!!! Fucking brilliant!
My story is kind of short. I was eating a burrito on a 19 when a stranger from ireland commented that my food was wrapped in “aluminium.”
The way people from the UK say aluminum is hilarious, and it made me laugh on the bus.
They add an extra sylable and change the emphasis–I can’t describe it, if you have an irish friend ask him/her to say it. It is funny and that was a good day to ride the bus.
this is a great story.
Us Aussies say it that way too (the correct way).
al oo min ee um, yes?
yep thats how it’s spelt outside the US
Many years ago (1994ish?)I was riding the N Judah inbound from the inner Sunset on a Saturday night and witnessed one passenger, with syringe, inject another into the upper arm. On first glance, the passengers in question looked like trannys with a meth habit. Upon further reflection, I realized both were indeed biological females. They exited at Duboce Park and took off down Noe St. into the night.
How could you tell they were biological females? Just curious.
So many Muni stories, so little time.
Here’s one.
I went to a house party way out in the Sunset one night, and on the way home took an N Judah from way out by the beach back to Church and Duboce. Started talking to a kid on the N, kind of cute, charming, etc. I got out, thought that was that. Fast forward maybe four or five months. I get on a 7 Haight, there’s this guy who looks familiar and he’s watching me. We chat, figure out we met on the N. I give him my phone number.
He calls me the next day and we go out. We have about 4 dates, then he leaves for volunteer work in the Caribbean. No great loss, he was a bad kisser anyway.
Fast forward three years. I’m in Amoeba with a friend, and this guy standing on the other side of an aisle is staring at me. He asks if we know each other, and it’s my bad kisser-7 Haight date.
I wasn’t interested in telling him how he knew me if he didn’t remember, so I said I didn’t think we knew each other.
There’s no moral to the story, except maybe that just because you can flirt/chat on Muni doesn’t mean you’ll be a good fit in real life.
If I win, I’d like a 22 Fillmore or 2 Clement T-shirt, please!
*gasp!*
She kisses and tells!
I’m waiting for someone to post the urban legend Chinese-woman-kills-chicken-so-she-can-board-30-Stockton story. I’ve heard various versions of it since the early 90′s, always breathlessly recounted as having happened to “a friend of mine.”
Hey, didn’t someone tell that story at the Muni Diaries thing, saying it happened to “a friend of mine”?
About 10 years ago I was on the 15, and my shoulder was killing me. I was absentmindedly rubbing it when a deep voice from behind me says, “You need a massage? I can help with that.” Without turning around, I said no thanks. The voice continued, “You sure? I give great massages. My mamma says it’s better than a orgasm.” eep!
I made sure he got off the bus before I did.
hi everybody! cool contest, for sure. and nice shirts.
but …
for more Muni fun, we’ve got a ton of Muni stories (that happened in the Mission and elsewhere in San Francisco) on MuniDiaries.
thanks, and carry on …
Thanks, Jeff.
Yeah, Allan, don’t you know there’s only one blog in town that’s allowed to tell Muni stories? Mission Mission is a worse rip off artist than the Weekly!
oh goodness, it’s not like at all. we LOVE mission mission. just want folks who might not otherwise know that there’s a site dedicated to just this type of Muni storytelling.
Okay, here’s mine and it’s actually true. I’m riding the bus down Market street in Civic Center around midnight sitting near the back door when a middle-aged homeless guy in the very back starts lighting up a cigarette. The driver yells to him “You can’t smoke here”. Homeless guy flips him off and puffs away. Driver says “No you don’t; not on my bus!”. Driver slams on the brakes at Market between 6th and 7th, gets up, walks down the aisle, rips the cigarette out of the guys’s mouth and throws it out the window. “Out!”, the driver yells. The homeless guy shrugs, gets off the bus, picks up his tossed cigarette, staggers up the sidewalk, and begins to jaywalk across the middle of Market. All the while the driver gets back in his seat, huffs angrily, guns the accelerator, and “Bam!” hits the same homeless guy he just kicked off the bus. I suppose cigarettes kill, but MUNI kills faster.
True?
Absolutely true. The homeless guy appeared to be pretty okay all things considered, as he was already sedated on something. The driver told everybody to stay on the bus, but nobody in their right mind did. I was already near my stop anyway, and recused myself from the aftermath.
In 2006 I was riding a very crowded morning in-bound N-Judah – got on in Cole Valley. There was a homeless dude sitting in one of the seats that face the stairwell/entrance. He smelled like shit and was drinking vodka out of the bottle. The usual talking to himself, etc. We’re crammed in there, go through the tunnel and come out by Duboce Park. More people get on, and then of course more at Church & Duboce. People are standing in the stairwell. The train starts towards the tunnel behind the Safeway, driver hasn’t raised the stairs yet, and suddenly the driver slams on the brakes. Homeless dude lurches forward and proceeds to VOMIT all over the people standing in the stairwell in front of him. (I was at the top of the stairs, did not get hit). It was excruciating – as of course we were all trying not to throw up ourselves, the Russian woman who had received the bulk of the vomit to her head was crying, and it was one of those mornings where it takes 5 minutes and lots of stops to get to Van Ness Station. I’ve never seen a crowd of 50 people storm off a train more quickly than when the doors opened at Van Ness – the homeless dude was literally the only one left in car.
about 4 years ago i’m riding the 5 from usf towards downtown late one night (when the line terminates at 6th/7th in the ‘loin, not the transbay terminal)…only people on the bus are me (generic white chick) and some thuggish-looking guys…they start talking to me and seem nice enough so i chat with them…after a few blocks they start telling me that if i ever need to buy a handgun they can hook me up…i thank them for their offer, but politely decline…they’re pretty adamant about the fact i should have one…i thank them for their concern but try to impress upon them that i’m good without one…we finally make it to the end of the line…i let them off the bus first so that i can walk in any direction other than where they’re going! but all in all, some nice guys…with different shopping habits than me!
also — i was on the 19 once, heading through the potrero projects, and a homeless-looking lady sits next to me and starts singing at the top of her lungs…after several minutes of this she stops mid-song, looks at me and says, “honey, some day i’m gonna blow up!”, then gets off the bus…to this day i’m still wondering if she meant “blow up” in the explosive sense, or in the “i’m gonna be a superstar” sense…i’ll never know.
My right arm muscle is not from watching the watching the hotness that is MissionMission, but from holding on for my life on Muni.
I was on the 6 heading toward Ferry Building when four men got on, two of them very huge, all of them grifters. This was around Van Ness. They started playing cards amoungst themselves, find the B-ahem, I mean Queen. The bus was nearly empty and their game was obvious.
They started in on a tall goofy redheaded kid, aren’t they always tall and goofy. Their game was so obvious I’m still not sure I wasn’t getting some sort of public demonstration art.
Long story short, kid was down $80 ($80!!) screamed he thought he was going to get his money back. Two sharks jumped off at 5th, the muscle hung on until Powell to keep the kid on the bus. I was amazed at the naivete. The bus driver proceeded to explain to the kid the lesson he just learned.
If it was a show, it was dead brilliant. If it was a grift, it was hella obvious.
Sounds familiar. I’ve seen three of them on both the 71 and the F-line, outbound on Market St. On the 71 they actually were shamed into giving a young woman back her $20 by other passengers but the F was full of visitors who didn’t seem to grasp what was going on. I told one young woman to put her money away but they cleaned up with a few teenage boys. All got off at 7th and drifted into UN plaza. I wonder about those dudes, thinking that someday they’re going to pull that shit on the wrong person.
i win. hands down.
http://sanfrancisco.decider.com/articles/brokeass-stuart-monica-the-intern,26221/
I love the end of that story.
i was told by a muni driver to ‘ride durty’ on a very full 10 townsend. the whole front of the bus laughed for days.
ps if i win i will donate the t-shirt to goodwill.
This story happened on Muni. But not just Muni. It came to its conclusion well beyond Muni jurisdiction.
On a rare day in which I decided against my better judgment to take the 14, I got on the bus. Got on the bus knowing fully that weird shit ALWAYS happens to me on the 14. This time was no exception. I took the only open spot standing and held on for dear life to the rail.
Cue crazy shit: the man sitting in front of me was a loud talking gentleman who looked like a homeless Doc Brown from Back to the Future. He was talking to a similarly crazed-looking woman about a friend in Florida where there were nude beaches for miles and nothing but naked people sitting around, cuming for miles. Needless to say I was uncomfortable. But hey, he’s a crazy looking guy on the bus. Please dear heavens get me off of here. I got to my stop without further incidence.
THE NEXT DAY, I am flying out of SFO on a trip to my home state, Florida. Going through security, guess who I see: Mr. Crazy-Ass LSDed Doc Brown from the 14! I almost passed out and even pulled a bit of duck and cover since I didn’t want the guy to see me since I had been standing in front of him on the bus only the day before.
So I get through security, thinking all is clear. Boy that was weird, the guy from the bus yesterday. Wonder where he was going? I honestly didn’t think he was the jet-setting kind or the type of guy that actually visits friends in Florida but I was clearly wrong.
Cut to my gate, boarding. HE IS IN LINE TO GET ON MY PLANE. Yes, that’s right. Crazy pants Doc Brown, fan-of-nude-beaches-in-Florida is about to get on my 6 HOUR FLIGHT.
The only possible way this story could get any better is if my seat happened to be next to him. Good gravy I was in luck, I had some hygienic, pleasant smelling non-crazed seatmates. I did get to spend the rest of the trip watching him pace up and down the isles, loud-talking and inappropriately leaning over people’s seats saying RANDOM things.
Honestly, what the hell are the changes that the strange man from the bus would be on my flight CROSS-COUNTRY the next day?!?
i have a story in which i was the bad guy.
basically, my brother and i had been on a two day bender, it was coming on 11am and we jumped on the 14 to go grab some burritos. it was pretty full, the ride was pretty choppy, and after a few minutes, i was overcome with an uncontrollable wave of nausea. i tried not to vomit, but i ended up sort of letting half of it go into my hand, on over it, onto so woman’s leg. i looked down at her leg, then when i looked up again she slapped me and started yelling at me. so i high-tailed it out of there, leaving my brother on the bus. pretty gross, definitely not one of my prouder moments.
A guy is trying to stifle vomit, gets some on your leg, so you slap him? She’s lucky you didn’t unleash a barf geyser right into her face.
CONTEST IS CLOSED
Post-contest stories still welcomed. They are entertaining.
I was on the 30 Stockton bus going through China town into North Beach. An older Asian woman got on the bus with a live chicken. The bus driver kept saying ” no live animals, no live animals” until the woman snapped the chickens neck. Good times!
No kidding! That happened to my friend, and his friend, and everyone else’s friend, going back the last 20 years or so. That woman must have killed 70, 80 chickens by now.
I was on the 43 heading inbound when a drunk young guy drinking a Forty behind me started harassing me. At first it seemed innocent enough, asking questions about my ipod and stuff. But he soon became more and more aggressive, making kissy faces and rubbing his hand on my back. Oh, I’m a guy too, by the way, and he didn’t seem gay. He just seemed drunk and trying to belittle me. Also, he was about twice my size and I’m incredibly non-confrontational. At some point, he threw his Forty bottle out of the window, (“yes!” I thought. “He lost his weapon.”) and rubbed his beer-soaked hand on my sweatshirt. I turned around and he pushed his hand in my face. I had had enough. I looked him straight in the eye, pointed my finger and exclaimed, “HEY! KNOCK IT OFF!” Knock it off? Did I really just say knock it off?! My dad used to say knock it off all the time, and here I was, saying it to some tough-guy thug. He looked at me dead-on. “Here comes the punch to the face,” I thought. But no. He stood up and walked off the bus, giving me a little shoulder shove on his way out. The minute he exited, the rest of the bus exploded in laughter. Thanks guys. Glad that I could entertain you all.
I was moving from the Haight to the Mission on Halloween. I had 2 cars and needed to shuffle them over the hill. I was riding the N Judah. A couple of cute dykes sat in front of me. A drag queen got on with ginormous breasts. One dyke looked at the other and said, “I just want to put my face between those and go (sound of escaping air through pursed lips while shaking head side-to-side).”
A rainy night on a jam packed 1 California. The crowded bus is full of the smell of wet clothing and the monosyllabic conversations of urban warriors returning home to the Richmond. The darkened windows frame a collage of reflections and flashes of light like animated Jackson Pollocks. The driver signals for a turn and the tick tock of the turn indicator mixes with the sashay of the wind shield wipers to form a rough syncopated beat. In a clear strong voice, the driver starts to sing the “Old Grey Mare” in time with the beat. All conversation stops. Slowly, one by one, other voices join in from around the bus until a resounding chorus ended the song with a drawn out “…many long years ago.” The light changed, the bus turned, the song dissolved into self conscious laughter and people started talking. As each person left the bus they shouted out “Good Night” to the other passengers and thanked the driver.
Riding the 38 provides no shortage of interesting, fun times. I can tell you about the guy sitting next to me shooting up heroin (I told the driver…”what do you want me to do about it?”), or the “man without a face” (literally no skin on his face. very creepy). Or I can go on and on about the endless number of really foul smelling people that occasionally get on around Van Ness to do the Tendernob crawl. Thank god I can get off and catch the next bus which is only a few minutes away. Ah yes, the 38 is one of Muni’s finest routes…
I know that this story is outlandish and difficult to believe, but I once took the 38 from 2nd and the bus was full but not overflowing, it never got stuck in traffic, all the passengers were quiet and well-mannered, nobody barged in through the back-door, everybody boarded quickly, and we arrived at the transbay terminal a few minutes ahead of schedule. . .
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