Yesterday I had the pleasure of going to SF Vegan Drinks and spotted this lovely bicycle parked right outside:
Animal hide is an elegant and classy status symbol, especially when stapled to a wheel obviously fished out of a dumpster.
PROTIP: If you are going to troll a bunch of drunk vegans, learn how to properly lock your bike.
Bike-lock fail. Return to sender landfill?
Whoa there! Too much fixie hipster pretension coming from this post!
lol i’m sure whoever took the picture stole the bike afterwards.
That’s pretty disgusting, yeah. Especially, christ, that’s TWO rabbits in the spokes of that wheel. Heartless and tacky, nice.
Er, it still looks like it would be a lot of work to get the handlebars through the lock, or take off the stem? Am I missing something?
You could steal the bike in about 30 seconds with a 6mm allen wrench. Typically bike thieves roll with some basic tools (for stealing seatposts, wheels etc) so the likelihood someone would have a wrench is high.
Nah, that guy’s stem wedge is probably rusted to the inside of the fork. The thief would have to be carrying a rubber mallet also.
Fixies are a dime a dozen. I’d be thievin’ the pelts.
Hi. That’s my bike. I’m afraid there’s been a terrible misunderstanding. I owe you an explanation:
1. I meant no affront to your group. I just stopped by for a drink at the bar because I had just found out my mother’s cancer was malignant and very aggressive. It’s likely she won’t make it through the year.
2. The wheel is indeed quite old. I didn’t dumpster it though. It’s an old Mavic from my grandfather’s Bianchi. He almost made it through the tunnel to Switzerland at Domodossola in 1943 before Nazis shot him in the back. The Bianchi was mangled, but my grandmother (my mother’s mother) managed to salvage parts of it. Its front wheel and the stem appear on the Peugeot in your pictures.
3. The stem, as Chainwhip points out, is indeed rusted into the headtube. No amount of pounding, grease, or any other chemical has been enough to loosen it. I’d appreciate any tips you might have though.
4. The rabbit pelts came from four rabbits we rescued from a medical testing facility in Newton MA last year. The rabbits died two months later, probably due to the testing that was done on them. I attached their pelts to the wheel to remind myself and everyone else about the cruelty of animal testing. I’m sorry you found the message disgusting, but I think animal testing IS disgusting.
I should add that I found your post quite hurtful. I guess that’s the risk I run by wearing my feelings on my sleeve and being so emo (grandfather’s wheels, rescued animals on wheels). But still, I can’t help but wonder if I could have avoided all of this emotional emotional turmoil.
Yours,
Unfurtunate
Hello, little man. Boy, I sure heard a bunch about you. See, I was a good friend of your dad’s. We were in that Hanoi pit of hell together for over five years. Hopefully, you’ll never have to experience this yourself, but when two men are in a situation like me and your dad were, for as long as we were, you take on certain responsibilities of the other. If it had been me who had not made it, Major Coolidge would be talking right now to my son Jim. But the way it turned out is I’m talking to you, Butch. I got something for ya. [Holds up watch] This watch I got here was first purchased by your great-grandfather during the first world war…
Yiiiiipes.
“…he’d be goddamned if some slope got his hands on his son’s birthright. so he hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal in the only place he could…”
That quote would have been much better if you would have insterted “mavic wheel” where watch is quoted. Although the logistics of pulling off such a feet are confounding at best?
i just ate a burrito as big as my head.
In YOUR face angry vegans!
Dare ick eat o,
I find your thoughts regarding burritos both stimulating and appetizing. Thank you for sharing.
Sincerely,
Chainwhip
I wonder what it’s like to ride in the rain with a sopping wet animal pelt in your spokes… just whipping street water and hobo piss all over your shins.
[...] –Outside a vegan cocktail party in San Francisco, California–Outside a taxidermy shop in Mobile, Alabama–Outside a faux “dive bar” in Red Hook, Brooklyn–At an Elmer Fudd-themed alleycat in Minneapolis, Minnesota [...]
Those are faux pelts taken from a combination of Henry’s upper torso hair and Chase’s butt crack hair.
nice bikes.
Just in case you get lucky and wind up finding a vegan date who drank too much she could use the pelt to wipe. Si o no? BUTT I salute you!