breadxbread reported yesterday that Cactus Cooler is now available at liquor stores in the Mission. I’d have been nonplussed were it not for a Sexpigeon post from a couple months back:
This stuck in my mind A.) because it’s a fun game and B.) because the Cactus Cooler can looks cool. So when I came across breadxbread’s announcement, I forwarded it to Sexpigeon, and it led to probably my favorite email exchange ever:
Sexpigeon:
Dang. This made me thirsty for a Cactus Cooler. Went out and bought one. Can’t bring myself to drink it. It’s too memory-soaked, you know?
Me:
I’ve never had one. My first knowledge of it dates back to your Sexpigeon post. Is it quite rare? Is this news? Have you drank it yet?
Sexpigeon:
From Wikipedia:
“Cactus Cooler, distinguished by its orange, yellow, and green label, is an orange-pineapple soft drink sold in the United States, mainly in the Southern California area and surrounding Southwestern United States. It is part of the Dr Pepper Snapple Group, and was previously distributed under the Canada Dry brand name. Its taste is reminiscent of Smarties candy.”
And from some website called Retroland:
“Regrettably, the drink is near impossible to find outside of the Southwest; heck, it’s not even available in Northern California.”
Myself, I didn’t know it still existed. But your email came on the same day that I noticed it in a gas station near my work. Serendipity, then, so I bought one. And no, I haven’t opened it yet.
News? I don’t think so. I don’t even think it’s thought of all that fondly where it is available. Imagine you moved to New York and discovered a Cable Car Pizza there.
Cactus Cooler, from what I remember, is really, really sweet. I just loved the can so much. And I suppose I still do.
Ah, fuck. I’ll just drink the thing. I’ll get back to you on its flavor.
Me:
Nevertheless I think I might treat this as news. Can I quote you?
Sexpigeon:
Ha. Yes, you may quote me.
By the way, it tastes (and looks) like DayQuil, but with the medicine removed. Thick, gummy sunshine.
4 minutes pass
A photo of said can, if you are interested. I am tempted to say, too, that it tastes very much like it looks.
http://sexpigeon.org/post/87987774/i-remember-you-from-the-ymca
11 minutes pass
Finally, it’s leaving my throat incredibly parched. Almost painfully so. The desert motif is an apt one, no graphic on this can is a lie.
 because it’s a fun game and B.) because the Cactus Cooler can looks cool. So when I came […]</p>
%5Bvia+%3Ca+href%3D%22http%3A%2F%2Fwww.missionmission.org%2F2009%2F03%2F19%2Fthick-gummy-sunshine-cactus-cooler-now-available-in-the-mission%2F%22%3EMission+Mission%3C%2Fa%3E%5D&clickthru=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.missionmission.org%2F2009%2F03%2F19%2Fthick-gummy-sunshine-cactus-cooler-now-available-in-the-mission%2F){kind=link}
Man, I wish Sexpigeon would write me emails about soda. You have the best life!!!
nonplussed– I do not think it means what I think you think it means. your use seems to indicate “ambivalent,” but it really means “profoundly dumbfounded and speechless.” Or, maybe that’s what you mean. It sounds like you mean “I’d say ‘meh’ but recall seeing something about it.”
Dang I almost forgot about this stuff. Back home in San Clemente it used to be my drink of choice. Muay Deliciosa!
Regarding my life being the best, I know! I was so honored and had to share.
Regarding the other thing, god no, I would never use the word “meh.” But seriously, I’ve been happily using nonplussed wrong all my life and I’m not about to change on account of Cactus Cooler.
Cactus Cooler:Dana Point::God:Jesus
it tastes like chewable baby asprin, if you ask me.
do they even make chewable baby asprin anymore?
they do, but only heart patients take it. thins the blood. cant give aspirin to babies anymore.
Oh man. I grew up in AZ and we drank this shit all the time. Haven’t touched one in years… not sure I could now, but it sure brings back memories.