Calf-Toned Marina Hoochies in the Mission?

Inspired by Plinky, a prompt-centric new social network, local web celeb Mike Monteiro today explained how he’d spend $1000:

I’d head to the Marina with 50 $20 bills and set up in front of the fanciest liquor store I could find. I’d give every homeless dude a bill and make sure they told their friends to come get theirs as well. I’d double up on any of them that looked particularly wobbly.

I’d get my revenge for every calf-toned Marina hoochie who comes down to MY neighborhood every weekend to slum it up in the Mission and ends up throwing up on my doorstep at 3am because she can’t hold her liquor and Chad isn’t gracious enough to hold her hair back.

Link. OK, now shall we all join hands and rip on the Marina for a while?

Previously:

Marina Guy Rips on Mission Hipsters

13 Responses to “Calf-Toned Marina Hoochies in the Mission?”

  1. curledupwithabook says:

    We are thinking of having a Mission v. Marina themed party. Everyone dresses as their favorite stereotype, and when the party moves from the house to the Mission bars, we pretend to hate each other.

  2. [...] American Apparel today, I promise. We’ve got bigger problems with folks from the Marina. Hey, they made fun of the Mission [...]

  3. the_juice_is _loose says:

    Does it just have to be the Marina!? I work in Russian Hill, hell on earth with their friggin’ smirks and baseball caps. Ugh, should we rename this whole area “Little San Diego”?

  4. Chris says:

    God, this is like high school.

  5. CAK says:

    Mission 4EVAH

  6. zinzin says:

    what does “calf-toned” mean?

  7. T1 says:

    Russian Hill is hell on earth? where the eff do you carpetbaggers come from? the Mission, while great, is not the only corner of the City with its own unique character. I call this BS the “tyranny of the Mission.” Fortunately most of you transplants will get tired of adding roommate after roommate to afford to live there and will be forced to move out of the Mission, which you can then decry from the next “it” neighborhood.

    Trendyloin anyone?

  8. samsoner3 says:

    WHERE the hell are these people originally from?

    NY? LA?

    Btw, there are more similarities than differences between the Marina & Mission.

  9. Allan Hough says:

    But only one of them has an American Apparel, and that’s all that matters.

  10. johnny0 says:

    Way more hair gel and hair dye in the Marina.

  11. generic says:

    “tyranny of the Mission” could be the title of a new blog, book, musical, etc.

    it would be awesome.

  12. tack says:

    I think the sentiment sums it up well. I tolerate Medjool ok except for around 1:30am when the douche levee breaks and spills out under my bedroom window. You’d hate the marina too if you woke up to drunken abusive arguments about where some marina types parked the hummer enough times.

  13. T1 says:

    Anyone creatively inspired is encouraged to run with the phrase “tyranny of the Mission.” BTW i’ll still see ya down there after work. :-)

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